Blog Posts from "BEST WARRIOR EVER" - Gameriot.com

incredible, really

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 11:28:10 -0400

This site has really gone to ****.
So has World of Warcraft.

Probably my life, too.

And I've done my best to get rid of all three. I switched to www.restrictedsection.org to escape WoWriot, I tried to get a life to quit WoW. I even read Bodi's blogs in an attempt to commit suicide (this actually almost worked, more on that later**).

But, despite my best efforts, I'm still here. Neglecting real life for a video game is obviously a bad idea, and I'm a lot more intelligent than all of you losers playing this game -- I wouldn't even be reading this **** if I was paid for it -- so why am I still playing?

The answer has been unfortunately obvious to me for a while: Success.

I'm addicted to it, to the feeling that I'm better than just about anyone out there. "Out there" being a virtual world filled with the illiterate dregs of society hasn't deterred me, the fact that I'm only good because I hire Hoodrych to play my character while I sit back and watch Neilyo 2009 doesn't bother me at all either.

So convinced am I in my superiority, genuinely believing that success in this game means something, that I can't even begin to think about quitting WoW. Expending effort to succeed is really frightening, especially given that I have such a wonderful position as a pillar of the WoW community right here on GAMERIOT.

So I'm begging anyone still reading, as a fellow degenerate human being...

Make me feel like ****. Make me feel like I'm ******* terrible at this game, that there's no way in hell I'll even be remotely acceptable at any form of video gaming. I'm a nobody, not even fit to the lick the **** off of Jasi's level 75 hunter's feet. (he plays WoW, okay?)
I want to feel like Exitec.

Make it happen, it shouldn't be too hard.

My future is in your hands.

**i bought one of those disposable razors for the next time i saw something really horrifying and just wouldnt be able to take it any more and then surprisingly the opportunity to use it came along that very night because i saw bodi's face did you know he's black lol? and he was talking about competitive pvp while stuck at 1900 playing with vidra who apparently thinks he's good now? idk anyway so i readied my razor and attempted to sever my jugular vein because i read in a book that kills you but i didnt know where it was so i assumed it was my penis because isnt that where all the important things are so i cut it really deep but then my mom walked in so i had to pretend i was masturbating (shes colorblind so she didnt realize it was blood) so anyway it hurt a lot but i didnt die and thats why i have a giant cut on my penis right now in case you wondering. btw its definitely not an std (i think the s stands for sex lol) i mean who has sex anyway oh **** i think shes back brb

WoW PvP -- Glyph Choices

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 19:07:39 -0400

So, seeing as they're adding 2 major glyph slots this patch, I've decided to create a list of USEFUL major glyphs to pass the time and make your decisions easier. As I wait patiently for servers to come up again.

Â - Reduces the casting time of your Turn Evil spell by 100%.

If you see any missing useful/listed useless glyphs, please let me know.

Servers still down.

Sigh.

Want Brutal Gladiator?

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:01:24 -0400

About two months ago, I transferred to the competitive Emberstorm battlegroup to play with some friends.

Few nights later, we achieved the prestigious #1 title, having played maybe two decent teams along the way.

Few weeks later, everyone got bored and quit.

The team's still #1 by a large margin, shouldn't have left it. Oh well.

So now, I'm looking for a good healer to get Brutal Gladiator with in any (or all) brackets.

Ideally, you are someone I know or have played against, aren't suffering from a crippling mental disorder, and don't make the same dumb mistakes more than once.

I've had a few bad experiences playing with awful players with shoulders, so I'll value competence over gear.

Right now, we have:
Me (AMAZING WARRIOR)

Lewt (The Lewt)

A Good Rogue (Some PvE gear!)

A Good Priest (Not very active, though)

If you're interested, feel free to send me a GAMERIOT PRIVATE MESSAGE.

A few facts about Emberstorm / Rivendare (the server we're on):

* Seattle-based battlegroup, so good ping if you're on the West Coast (one of the reasons I transferred here)

* Horde-dominated server, levelling and Wintergrasp are guaranteed to be swift and painless (if you wish to stay that long)

* PvE guilds are utter ****, hope you don't enjoy PvE

* The #1 2v2 team consists of the Druid/Rogue that transferred to play with us, and quit.

* The #1 3v3 team is the one we levelled when we first came here, now inactive.

* The #1 5v5 team is a HORRIBLE cleave that we only played once ever, after which they started dodging. Half their team transferred, so they're probably not playing any more.

If you're a good Warlock/Mage/Hunter, feel free to contact me as well-- though we can't really get anything going without an amazing healer.

Worst comes to worst, you're stuck with a Gladiator title.

I hope this blog doesn't get deleted.

WHAT HAPPENED TO AELLI

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:08:28 -0400

http://www.wowarmory.com/team-info.xml?r=Smolderthorn&ts=5&t=Infamous+Platforms&select=Infamous+Platforms

HE WAS UNDEFEATED TO 2100! 15 TIMES!

I'm heartbroken, I really thought he was the best team in WoW.

Please don't delete this blog.

It has content.

NEW BEST 2V2 SETUP-- 2200 with a single loss!

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 20:21:19 -0400

An anonymous friend told me to post this before Affix stole yet ANOTHER one of my original makeups, so here I am.

Early last season, my priest - an arena virgin fresh from win-trading - discovered Laxativez, the best mage to ever grace the competitive arena scene.

http://files.filefront.com/SupMintiwmv/;9818912;/fileinfo.html (Laxativez 1v2ing Happyminti's 2v2 team)

Despite my inability to play the game, we broke 2200 in a week, and I came to realize a simple truth: If you can consistently beat Warrior/Druid, success is guaranteed.

As we soon discovered, Mage/Priest cannot lose to Warrior/Druid barring incredible RNG (my record with Laxativez against Warrior/Druid was something like 50-1, many of those games against first page teams). Unfortunately, he quit the game, and I got stripped for win-trading soon after.

--

Anyway, to sum up Priest/Mage
vs.
Warrior/Druid: ALWAYS WIN
Warrior/Shaman: ALWAYS WIN
Warrior/Paladin: ALWAYS WIN
Non-UD Rogue/DPS: USUALLY WIN
Rogue/Druid: SOMETIMES WIN
UD Rogue/DPS: SOMETIMES WIN
Hunter/Healer: SOMETIMES WIN
Rogue/Priest: SOMETIMES WIN (if rogue is using a lot of PvE gear)
Warlock/Healer: NEVER WIN
This, of course, assumes competent opponents-- against bad players, your chances of winning go up astronomically.

With no gear, and no mage, I was unable to pursue this idea further. Half a season later, though, Affix decided to patent it.

Never fear, practice makes perfect.

Even now, the #2 team on BG9 is running Priest/Mage-- climbing ranks becomes remarkably easy when you directly counter over 90% of the top 60 teams.

Long story short, I forgot to take credit for a simple but effective setup and now I'm bitter.

--

New story. I've discovered a setup that's even better than Priest/Mage, and I'm not letting Affix steal it this time around.

Through pure coincidence, I met Bets, Best Moonkin. Sounds good! Priest... Moonkin? In theory, though, it's infinitely superior to Priest/Mage.

Some general advantages:
Innervate: With the HMgT staff, those rare games I run out of mana, I actually don't
Lifebloom: Backup heals against Double DPS makes the matchup a joke
Cyclone: A CC that actually works on Druids, allows me to get close to land fears and CC chains. Can also be used to negate blooms, or to set up a Starfire/HolyFire+MB/Death burst combo.
Abolish Poison: Makes fighting rogue/hunter teams stupidly easy.

Summing up Priest/Moonkin:
vs.
Warrior/Healer: ALWAYS WIN
Rogue/Healer: ALWAYS WIN
Rogue/DPS (any race): ALWAYS WIN
Hunter/Healer: ALWAYS WIN
Warlock/Healer: USUALLY WIN-- The trick against this setup is simply to last until you can land a good Fear/Cyclone CC chain to kill the pet, twice. With Moonkin meleeing for mana/lifebloom/innervate, this is quite achievable.

And in practice?
http://www.wowarmory.com/character-sheet.xml?r=Tichondrius&n=Irradiate

Shout out to Schoolbus/Satire of Kil'jaeden for our only loss, and also for the 80 points they gave us on our path to 2200.

Oh, and I forgot to mention. Priest/Moonkin vs Priest/Mage is so unfair to the Mage it almost makes me cry.

**** BLIZZARD

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 02:12:25 -0400

http://img107.imageshack.us/img107/5271/ssny0.jpg

Time to cancel my account since I can't even participate in innocent role play without being baselessly suspended.

LATENCY/NETWORKING PROBLEMS NEED NERD HELP

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 03:44:15 -0400

Here's my problem.

My ping to Tichondrius hovers around 50, fluctuating a little depending on what zone I'm in, but never rising over 100.

When I try to cast something, however, it takes anywhere from 100 to 400ms to start. (This is supported both by Quartz and the sluggish feeling I get half the time I start healing someone.)

This problem has existed on both my old (****ty) computer, and now this new one. Network drivers are up to date. Both wireless and wired connections are equally affected. It's not my router, I've bypassed it to no effect.

Here's a sample traceroute to the server:

Tracing route to 12-129-225-61.attens.net [12.129.225.61]
over a maximum of 30 hops:
  1    <1 ms     1 ms    <1 ms  10.0.0.1 
  2     *        *        *     Request timed out.
  3    12 ms    14 ms    12 ms  ge-1-11-ur01.bellevue.wa.seattle.comcast.net [68.86.177.49] 
  4    12 ms    14 ms     8 ms  te-9-3-ur02.bellevue.wa.seattle.comcast.net [68.86.96.70] 
  5    10 ms    12 ms    11 ms  te-8-3-ar02.seattle.wa.seattle.comcast.net [68.86.96.73] 
  6     *       12 ms    14 ms  te-9-1-ar02.seattle.wa.seattle.comcast.net [68.86.90.210] 
  7    12 ms    11 ms    12 ms  COMCAST-IP.car1.Seattle1.Level3.net [4.79.104.110] 
  8    17 ms    10 ms    13 ms  te-3-3.car1.Seattle1.Level3.net [4.79.104.109] 
  9    31 ms    20 ms    11 ms  ge-1-0-0-51.gar1.Seattle1.Level3.net [4.68.105.9] 
 10    17 ms    22 ms    24 ms  att-level3-oc48.Seattle1.Level3.net [4.68.127.110] 
 11    43 ms    42 ms    43 ms  tbr1.st6wa.ip.att.net [12.127.6.58] 
 12    44 ms    41 ms    43 ms  cr1.st6wa.ip.att.net [12.122.23.169] 
 13    49 ms    46 ms    43 ms  cr2.sffca.ip.att.net [12.122.31.194] 
 14    43 ms    45 ms    47 ms  cr2.la2ca.ip.att.net [12.122.31.133] 
 15    49 ms    45 ms    53 ms  tbr2.la2ca.ip.att.net [12.122.19.198] 
 16    46 ms    42 ms    43 ms  12.127.3.189 
 17    47 ms    43 ms    53 ms  12.122.255.74 
 18    41 ms    43 ms    44 ms  mdf001c7613r0003-gig-10-1.lax1.attens.net [12.129.193.242] 
 19    59 ms    44 ms    61 ms  12.129.209.99 
 20    42 ms    55 ms    44 ms  12-129-225-61.attens.net [12.129.225.61] 
Trace complete.

Nothing seems amiss, Comcast (lol awful ISP) also insists that nothing is wrong on their end.

That leaves my cable modem -- is this even a possibility? -- or some mystery cause that I'm not aware of.

Which is where you nerds come in... HELP!

What could possibly cause me to experience latency in-game without affecting my ping? (On a side note, the game's response time seems to be even longer inside arenas/instances)

THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE.

Gladiator Cutoff

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:31:55 -0400

Please list your ridiculously low Gladiator ratings here!

My priest got it at ~2200 (the requirement for S2 was over 2300)...

I'm thinking Blizzard ****** something up as they have with the completion of every season.

SEASON 4

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:37:31 -0400

My warrior is looking for competent people to play with for the duration of Season 4.

http://www.wowarmory.com/character-sheet.xml?r=Tichondrius&n=Maldazzar

I'm about as good as it's possible to be (don't laugh, warriors are hard), and all the people I used to play with have quit or transferred. I can play priest/hunter as well, though those classes are staying on Tichondrius.

Bonus points for GAMERIOT Stardom, unless you're Exitec. (I MENTIONED YOU ON MY BLOG YOU'RE FAMOUS)
You should be located on or willing to transfer to: Bloodlust/Cyclone/Reckoning/Vengeance/Emberstorm/Whirlwind PvP servers.

Ideally, I already know you or have played against you, don't really want to waste $25. I'm a S1/2/3(hopefully) Gladiator, send me an in-game or Gameriot PM if you're interested.

Thanks.

PS. I HAVE GOLD

A man, a remote, a giant level 80 mechanical

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:32:16 -0400

Courtesy of Tichondrius forums, now deleted for some reason:

STARFEEDER BLOG JUMPS UP 4000+ VISITS TO TAKE THE $250

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Mon, 05 May 2008 08:12:51 -0400

I didn't know that so many people visited WoWRiot to read about Starcraft!

Congratulations on your hard-earned $250.

NUMBERS: (Accurate) Arena Representation

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:36:13 -0400

Note the following:
1.         Armory is ****** up, unfortunately. Some (few) entries may be incorrect, feel free to fill in the blanks and I'll modify results accordingly.
2.         While I'm sure there are many other competitive battlegroups, BG9 is definitely among them. Emberstorm is not. Worldwide 2200+ data is not representative of high level PvP, so I chose to look at the top 20 for all 3 brackets in my home battlegroup, BG9.
3.         This is only to measure the effectiveness of generally strong and "controversial" classes. Obviously, the following cannot be used to accurately measure Mage representation in 2s.
4.         Feel free to do the same for your own battlegroup, assuming it doesn't suck. Results should be similar.

Battlegroup Bloodlust 2v2:

#1   Warrior/Druid
#2   Warlock/Druid
#3   Rogue/Priest
#4   Mage/Druid
#5   Warrior/Druid
#6   Warlock/Druid
#7   Rogue/Priest
#8   *
#9   Rogue/Druid
#10  Rogue/Druid
#11  Warrior/Druid
#12  Warlock/Druid
#13  Warrior/Druid
#14  Rogue/Druid
#15  Warlock/Druid
#16  *
#17  Rogue/Druid
#18  Hunter/Druid
#19  Rogue/Druid
#20  Warlock/Druid
#21  Warlock/Druid
#22  Warlock/Priest

Warrior : 20% of teams
Rogue : 35% of teams
Warlock : 35% of teams
Druid : 85% of teams

Battlegroup Bloodlust 3v3:


#1   Warrior/Warlock/Druid
#2   Warrior/Rogue/Druid
#3   Rogue/Warlock/Druid
#4   Warrior/Shaman/Druid
#5   Warrior/Rogue/Paladin
#6   *
#7   Rogue/Warlock/Druid
#8   Rogue/Mage/Priest
#9   Rogue/Mage/Priest
#10  Warrior/Priest/Druid
#11  *
#12  *
#13  *
#14  Warrior/Priest/Druid
#15  *
#16  Warrior/Warlock/Druid
#17  Warrior/Mage/Druid
#18  Rogue/Warlock/Priest
#19  Rogue/Mage/Priest
#20  Rogue/Warlock/Druid
#21  Rogue/Rogue/Druid
#22  Rogue/Warlock/Druid
#23  Warrior/Rogue/Paladin
#24  *
#25  Warrior/Rogue/Druid
#26  Warrior/Mage/Druid

Warrior : 55% of teams
Rogue : 65% of teams
Warlock : 35% of teams
Druid : 70% of teams

Battlegroup Bloodlust 5v5:


#1    Warrior/Mage/Warlock/Druid/Paladin
#2    Warrior/Priest/Paladin/Rogue/Shaman
#3    Warrior/Priest/Paladin/Hunter/Shaman
#4    Warrior/Hunter/Druid/Priest/Shaman
#5    Rogue/Mage/Warlock/Priest/Druid
#6    Rogue/Mage/Warlock/Priest/Shaman
#7    Rogue/Mage/Warlock/Priest/Druid
#8    Warrior/Priest/Paladin/Warlock/Shaman
#9    Rogue/Mage/Warlock/Priest/Druid
#10   Rogue/Mage/Warlock/Priest/Druid
#11   Warrior/Priest/Paladin/Mage/Shaman
#12   Hunter/Warlock/Druid/Priest/Shaman
#13   Warrior/Priest/Paladin/Warlock/Shaman
#14   Rogue/Mage/Warlock/Priest/Druid
#15   Warrior/Priest/Paladin/Mage/Shaman
#16   Warrior/Priest/Paladin/Mage/Shaman
#17   Warrior/Priest/Paladin/Warlock/Shaman
#18   Warrior/Mage/Hunter/Paladin/Shaman
#19   Rogue/Mage/Warlock/Priest/Druid
#20   Rogue/Mage/Druid/Priest/Shaman

Warrior : 55% of teams
Rogue : 40% of teams
Warlock : 60% of teams
Druid : 50% of teams

Now, to average them out...
Warrior : 43.33% of top teams
Rogue : 46.67% of top teams
Warlock : 43.33% of top teams
Druid : 68.33% of top teams

See what I did there?

FOUR DPS IS SKILL, PLEASE WELCOME:

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 03:32:53 -0500

Select quotes from Cika of Jolly Asian Clams:
"If it was that easy, why are we the only 4 dps team in the top 25? We are the ONLY competitive 4DPS team on the MOST competitive battlegroup in the world."

"We make it work because we played it with a 96% win ratio last season to #1 with ease, our games are rediculously coordinated and micro managed more then your feeble mind can probably handle."

"Just from looking at the top 20 and naming teams im sure we have won more then lost CBE, Straight outta BG5, shuttle*****, oom now oom oom oom oom. Remember that I split games, so some teams may have been played more without me. We have played every single team except for I think 2? in the top 20 and have beat everyone of them atleast once except CLC whom we only played twice. "

"I love how immature warriors are the ones who always talk about how bad other teams are our how easy other teams have it.. enjoy your 1950 rating."

Queueing for 5v5 tonight, we fought Jolly Asian Clams (alas, without Cika).

Game 1:
http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/3717/game1jt2.jpg -
Game 2:
skillful damage zerg + retarded warrior kidney shotted in berserker stance = loss
Game 3:
http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/1925/game3id4.jpg -
Game 4:
http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/7561/game4np7.jpg -
Game 5:
http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/2346/game5ts1.jpg -
Game 6:
http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/9612/game6nb6.jpg -
skillful damage zerg kills our shaman in the first 30 seconds. unfortunately, it wasn't enough to secure a win?
Game 7:
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/8324/game7go4.jpg -
Game 8:
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/6796/game8pw7.jpg -

Needless to say, they never switched targets.

Any other **** talking you'd like to get out of your system, Cika? I need comments, so please do it here.

PS. Our shaman is (was) drunk, and priest is (was) specced for 2v2

WoW CHANGES I WANT NOW

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:47:46 -0500

Changes I think would make WoW PvP better. I opted to correct as few things as possible. Please comment anyway, I'm trying to achieve GAMERIOT stardom.

General PvP Changes:
Defensive Dispels (Magic Effects) now cannot fail.

Warrior
Talent: Mace/Sword/Axe Specialization - removed
Change: Improved Two-Handed Weapon Specialization (5 points)
Increases your chance to get a critical strike with two-handed melee weapons by 1/2/3/4/5%

Talent: Improved Hamstring
Change: Improved Hamstring (2 points)
Increases the duration of Hamstring by 2.5/5 seconds

Talent: Booming Voice
Change: Additionally, increases the area of effect of your Piercing Howl by 10/20/30/40/50%.

Summary: Remove the retarded RNG that has become the base of Warrior PvP.

Priest
Skill: Mana Burn
Change: Cooldown: 5 seconds

Summary: Priests are fine, Mana Burn is a tad overpowered.

Druid
Skill: Cyclone
Change: 15 yd range (down from 30)

Talent: Natural Perfection
Change: Natural Perfection (3 points)
Gives you a 30/70/100% chance to avoid interruption caused by damage while casting.

Talent: Nature's Focus - removed

Talent: Dreamstate
Change: Dreamstate (5 points) - Requires 35 points in Balance Talents
Regenerates mana equal to 3/6/9/12/15% of your Intellect every 5 sec, even while casting.

Talent: Wrath of Cenarius
Change: Wrath of Cenarius - Requires 30 points in Balance Talents

Summary: Natural Perfection was an unnecessary buff, but it was the only reason to not spec 34/0/27. Weakened Natural Perfection, buffed Dreamstate, but placed it deeper in the balance tree.

Paladin
Auras are now on their own global cooldown (similar to stances)

Spell: Blessing of Sacrifice
Change: 15 sec cooldown (down from 30)

New Spell: Focused Casting (1 min cooldown)
When used, caster is protected from all spell interruption effects for 4 sec

Talent: Stoicism
Change: Stoicism (2 points)
Increases your resistance to Stun, Fear, and Polymorph effects by 5/10%.

Talent: Pursuit of Justice
Change: switched with Precision (Requires 5 points in Protection Talents)
(Pursuit of Justice - 3 points - Reduces the chance you'll be hit by spells by 1/2/3% and increases movement and mounted movement speed 5/10/15%)

Talent: Holy Shock
Change: Holy Shock (30 yd range)
Healing coefficient for this spell is now 100%.

Summary: Paladins need more mobility, more ways to avoid getting CCed and locked out for extended periods of time, and a somewhat effective instant heal.

Mage
Spell: Evocation (While channeling this spell, you gain 60% of your total mana over 8 sec.)
Change: Evocation (Instant Cast, 3 min cooldown)
Mage gains an 8 second magical effect, returning 10% of total mana every 2 seconds.

Talent: Improved Frostbolt
Change: (Additionally) Gives you a 20/40/60/80/100% chance to avoid interruption caused by damage while casting Frostbolt

Summary: Slightly better mana efficiency, and some help with spell pushback.

Shaman
Talent: Earth Shield
Change: Earth Shield (Mana cost reduced by 50%, 15 sec cooldown)
If Earth Shield is dispelled, target is healed for: (Amount healed by 1 charge) * (Number of charges remaining). This might seem excessive, but do the math, it really isn't

New Talent: Stasis Trap (Requires 40 points in Elemental Talents, 60 sec cooldown)
Summons a Stasis Trap with 800 health at the feet of the caster. If not destroyed within 10 seconds, stuns all enemies within 15 yds for 5 seconds.

Summary: Buffed Earth Shield, added a 41 point elemental talent that might make giving up NS actually worthwhile.

Hunter
Spell: Arcane Shot
Change: No longer dispels 1 Magic effect

New Spell: Dispelling Shot (10 sec cooldown)
An instant shot that dispels 2 Magic effects from the target.

Spell: Scorpid Poison
Change: Stacks up to 3 times

Warlock
Spell: Curse of Tongues
Change: Now affected by diminishing returns. (12/6/3/immune)

Spell: Drain Mana/Drain Life
Change: These spells now have a shared 5 sec cooldown

Talent: Nightfall
Change: This effect now has a 5 second internal cooldown

I left out rogues because I just don't know their talent trees well enough. I was going to add more changes but then I realized these won't get implemented anyway so why should I waste my time posting a World of Warcraft wish list when I could be playing World of Warcraft so yeah I'm done bye

SCRUB EXPRESS: Winning without communication is not impressive

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:34:21 -0500

I zone into an arena. I'm listening to music, my partner is probably getting a ******* from his gay roommate. Three minutes later, we win. Our rating is now 1600.

Cool.

I zone into an arena. I'm listening to music, my partner is probably sucking off his gay roommate. Ten minutes later, we win. Our rating is now 2414. We're #1 in the world.

What the ****? No voice communication? Winning should be about as likely as Mana Burn (Rank 7) draining more than 1021 to 1079 mana from a target. For each mana drained in this way, the target takes 0.5 damage. Yet Cherekee and Beasteh have managed to take Hunter/Druid to the very top... without any form of communication (If they actually read party chat spam, I stand somewhat corrected).

Previously, I would have taken this information and come to one of the following conclusions:
1) These people have unreal coordination, complete awareness of every player's situation, and reflexes like Michael Jackson (fondling small boys is trickier than it sounds).
2) Down's Syndrome running rampant in the other team's genetic pool.
3) Cheating.

But, wait a second.

Let's look at Rogue/Mage/Priest, a generally accepted top-tier makeup. How far could you take it without any communication? 2000? 2100? Sooner or later, you're going to have to coordinate crowd control, burst, and target switches. Granted, as 3v3 has a lot more to keep an eye on, communication is a fair bit more indispensable. But being able to succeed, in any bracket, should not be possible if you opt out of Ventrilo to listen to music that is "generally common and neutral and should be generally appealing to the ears for almost anyone viewing." My point, however, remains. If you can get to #1 without communicating, you might be good... but your makeup's better.

PS. Check out these (ex-)Merciless Gladiators:
http://www.wowarmory.com/team-info.xml?r=Kil%27jaeden&ts=5&t=Jolly+Asian+Clams&select=Jolly+Asian+Clams
Strategy? Spam damage on opposing team's warrior until he (a) dies, or his healers run out of mana and he (b) dies.

This should not be possible.

It is.

So, I propose a change to the definition of SCRUB EXPRESS.
Before:
SCRUB EXPRESS: Ming said so.
After:
SCRUB EXPRESS: Any setup that can afford to use no form of communication while outplaying most other teams, generally doing well, reaching high levels of play and high rankings in the arena ladder, making good PvP videos and getting all of the popularity while I sit here blogging about them hoping for comments. **** them. One day, I will defeat them. One day, they will lie at my feet, licking my shoes with their very lives hanging by a thread. Grovelling, demonstrating their inferiority with every obedient step, stripping for my pleasure. I will dominate their bodies as I dominated their arena teams, and when I'm done I will kill them. And their families. And then I'll rape their corpses. Every last one of them. **** them. Serves them right for running SCRUB EXPRESS.

ARENAS AND YOU

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 07:04:01 -0500

When I lose, I get really ******* angry. I take arena play really ******* seriously. The only thing that pisses me off more than losing to a random team that doesn't know what the **** it's doing is losing to someone that I talked **** on, because they're bad. Sure, I lost to them... but that doesn't make me bad, my teammates just ****** up and even though we outplayed them they got lucky... I'm listening to Rammstein and I want to shoot someone in their ******* face...

****.

I think I'm something pretty special, I'm over 2K and have the amazing shoulders on both my warrior and my priest. I'm cute IRL, have lots of friends, get drunk on cheap alcohol. In short, I'm better than you-- though lately my arena partners have all gone MIA for various reasons that aren't related to me. I've taken to just playing BGs.

And you know what? I'm actually having fun.

Queueing with a competent healer (on my warrior) or damage dealer (on my priest) is easily the most pure enjoyment I've been able to derive from this game. Crushing opposing PUGs, struggling against and eventually defeating bad arranged groups, having random 2v5s in the middle of the map heedless of objectives... all is pretty entertaining. Sure, I don't get the satisfaction of outmacestunning good teams, but nor do I have to punch holes in my trailer wall every time I run into someone I just can't ******* beat. Playing BGs is just... what games are supposed to be. Fun.

Granted, it's probably not much fun for the people in greens getting 2-shotted, but **** them. They don't deserve it.

I won't deny that the battleground system has flaws. If developers were to incorporate some of the following changes, I'd be pretty happy:
a) Remove EotS
b) Make starting areas independent of faction (allow horde vs horde, alliance vs alliance)
c) People flagged as AFK have 2 minutes to engage in PvP combat (in addition to the 60 second countdown), and then are removed from the game with the deserter debuff.
d) Increase honor gains from winning, giving some incentive to actually try
e) Make the matchmaking system stricter, it should be much more unlikely for a full team to get matched up against a PUG. (with change b, single queueing will be instant, it won't much of a wait regardless)

Oh, and every once in a while, I come up against top players in battlegrounds. Individuals that have beaten me in serious arena matches, and I'M SO ******* ANGRY AT THEM I COULD JUST TAKE A BRICK AND DROP IT OFF OF A TALL BUILDING ONTO THEM BECAUSE I'M NOT ENOUGH OF A MAN TO DO IT FACE TO FACE AND I HOPE THEIR DOWN'S SYNDROME GETS EXACERBATED TO THE POINT WHERE THEY CAN'T EVEN PLAY WOW ANY MORE (YES I KNOW THAT'S A STRETCH). And, meeting them in such irrelevant circumstances, I realize that this game doesn't ******* matter. So they beat me, maybe they're even better players than me... who cares, we're in the same battleground, let's reminisce over the good old arena days, not call each other baddies, and just... have fun.

WoW is a game, right?

Maybe next time I play arena, I'll resist the urge to trash talk, cry myself to sleep, or take a bath with a live electrical appliance (depending on outcome/opponents). And if you're in that game, know that I love you.

Unless you're ******* terrible or one of those select few dumb pieces of **** that I can't talk to without wanting to castrate myself or a nearby small animal assuming it has genitalia to drown out the pain of knowing that you're still alive.

I'm not entirely sober, so excuse errors and incoherence.

Thanks for reading.

Warrior Dueling Guide (Part 1)

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 21:26:33 -0400

The key to succeeding as a warrior in 1v1 is proper management of cooldowns. Many people think warriors are a scrub express class, only requiring basic knowledge of the MS bind's location (hint: bind it to at least 4 different keys) to succeed. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In this post I will serve as a role model to all of you aspiring warriors and show beyond any doubt the complexity of the warrior class.

Part 1: Warrior VS Rogue
Contrary to popular belief, this is not an easy fight. AR/Prep rogues are the hardest, as they will have 2 evasions you will have to last through before doing any serious damage. The key to winning this fight-- and it is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL that you get this right-- is perfectly predicting when they're going to hit evasion. As soon as you see the rogue charging it up, you must let loose your most devastating mace stun. Follow this with an immediate MS crit, hamstring (imp. hamstring if you have time), and run away until evasion wears off. Shoot your throwing weapon constantly as a good source of damage. If he gets too close, intercept -> MS crit -> mace stun -> whirlwind crit to finish him off.

Part 2: Warrior VS Mage
Very straightforward and easy fight, you should be able to win every time.
You (Y): Charge + Hamstring
Mage (M): Frost Nova + run away
Y: Trinket, MS crit
M: Blink
Y: Intercept, Auto-attack, Hamstring, MS CRIT, Auto-attack
M: Frost Nova, starts running away
Y: Mace stun, MS crit
M: Blink
Y: Intercept, Auto-attack, Hamstring, MS CRIT, Auto-attack
M: Ice Block, Frost Nova, starts running away
Y: Mace stun

Repeat as necessary. If you are unable to get the charge off, you'll have to waste one of your mace stuns early. This, however, is not advised because your next mace stun will then only last for 1.5 seconds (barely enough time for a large MS crit!).

I have a life unlike you nerds, so I won't be posting any more. Because real life is more important than WoW.

Arena Balance: 2345 is skill

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 07:17:29 -0400

Every team has its weakness. Find me a makeup that doesn't, and I'll happily run it to #1- I'd really love an armored netherdrake. But when forming an arena team, the underlying concept is pretty simple: make one with the fewest number of weaknesses. This includes player skill as well synergy between classes, the ability to maintain a winning record over as many opponents as possible.

Let's look at the 2s bracket. There are two different basic makeups possible here, two dps and one healer/one dps. The strategy for a single DPS team is usually pretty straightforward. Outlast their healers mana, steadily burn one of them down until they simply run out of options. Warlock/paladin is a perfect example of this, where the strategy used is simply DoTing, mana draining, and healing. Eventually, the opposing team runs out of mana, and loses. While the (slightly) imbalanced state of SL warlocks makes this a pretty simple fight, the principle holds true for Warrior/Paladin, Priest/Rogue, etc. Obviously, it is possible to coordinate CCs to end the fight early, but this is just an extension of running the other team out of options.

On the other end of this pretty short spectrum, you have double dps. Warlock/Shadow Priest is popular due to their high synergy, as well as SL Lock/Frost Mage due to their amazing CC and high survivability. The plan is, simply put, to generate enough damage to bring someone down before they can kill one of you. This is usually done by controlling the healer for as long a period of time as it takes to slaughter the single DPS, at which point the healer is completely helpless.

There are, rarely, combinations of the 2. Warrior/Resto Shaman potentially has the burst to kill someone well before the healer runs out of mana, thanks to lucky Windfury procs (nerfed to severely reduce burst), Bloodlust, and Skillherald. Resto druid/rogue has the potential to CC a target (between sap/cyclone/feral charge/blind/etc) also well before the game goes into any sort of endurance phase. These makeups have too many counters to make them overpowered, but they are (somewhat) a separate category.

But back to talk of weaknesses. Every makeup has a flaw that can be abused to gain the upper hand. Mage teams are liable to run out of mana, warrior teams are more vulnerable to being controlled, rogue teams just get raped by warrior teams (unless they're double DPS), hunter teams get ****** by LoS. Druids, with their instant heals, immunity to polymorph, snares, and a cute little CC of their own, dominate the bracket because of an absence of weakness. SL warlocks, with self-healing, high armor, 20% less damage taken, and all instant damage that can be cast while running around in circles-- combined with fear, and a pet that can dispel and spell lock-- also dominate the bracket because of their very broad range of talents fit into just one class. Therefore, there is an extremely large amount of druid/dps and warlock/healer combinations in top 2v2 teams worldwide. It would be foolish not to take this into account when forming an arena team, and not having an effective counter to warlocks and druids would make any attempts to climb to the top levels very short-lived.

Skipping 3v3. You can apply the same principles easily enough- with possibilities of either 2 healers/1 dps, 1 healer/2 dps, or 3 dps, each with their own unique advantages and disadvantages.

Let's go straight to 5v5. Imagine a blank ladder. You have no idea what the opposition is going to be running, you have no idea what challenges might lie in your immediate future. Your goal is, quite simply, to make the all-purpose, all-powerful team. What classes do you include? Which talents are indispensable? Let's start with healing. You'll want to run 2 healers. Can't have one of them getting locked down and having someone die prematurely, that would be just stupid. Which 2 healers? Well, paladin is a good choice. They have very good sustainability, defensive dispels, a blessing of protection if things go downhill, a blessing of freedom to help with kiting. If something goes wrong, it's nothing a quick divine shield and repeated spamming of heals won't solve! You'll want to get a priest in there somewhere, a second dispeller to dispel your paladin when he gets CCed is very useful-- and mass dispel creates targets that would previously be impossible to kill. Mana burn is nothing to laugh at either, allowing you to cripple their survivability given the right circumstances. Now, should this priest be holy or shadow? Holy brings a combination of instant heals and decent survivability with blessed resilience, whereas shadow is much more vulnerable to getting locked down and focused to death-- while dealing damage that is largely dispellable. Holy it is. Now, you have room for 3 dps. Let's see, you'll want that mortal strike debuff, so warrior is a given. A decurse is extremely useful (make that EVERY debuff you can remove), so you'll want to get in a mage or a moonkin druid. Did I say moonkin? Mage it is, then. Incredible CC, and incredible burst; can't go wrong there! And the 5th DPS. You could get a rogue, a warlock, a hunter... all pretty viable classes versus the right makeups, but why struggle to fit them in! Just get an elemental shaman. Backup heals, an extra offensive dispel, bloodlust, totems to cleanse poisons, to break fear, to eat spells, to make your warrior do more damage... an insane amount of burst. Perfect!

And so, you have 2345. A balanced, effective combination which is set to dominate the 5v5 bracket! They are, if you will, the warlock/druid of large scale arenas. Skill is important, but so is makeup, and you can't go wrong with a group that supports itself as much this one does. In fact, it has done very well, as demonstrated by arena standings. It is practically unbeatable!

Fast forward a month. You're trying to make an arena team. All you see is 2345, 2345, 2345. What can you do? You can make a mirror team, and try to outplay them at their own game. Or, you can tailor a team that exploits their weakness, a team that- if played correctly, can ensure that few 2345 teams will torment you ever again. In order to do that, however, you must first locate a flaw. What is the weak spot on a team that has a seemingly limitless source of damage, CC, and independent healing?

The warrior. It is counter-intuitive to focus a warrior who has competent healing behind him, as he has 2-3 healers sitting there ready to back him up, and feeding rage to a class reliant on rage is not terribly effective. But at closer look, he also takes 10% more damage simply by sitting in his damage dealing stance, and loses most of his utility if he is forced into a defensive role. But how can you, with 3 dps, put that kind of pressure on a warrior? Answer: you can't.

And so, 4 dps is born. I'm not going to argue that it requires more skill than 2345 (although I honestly don't see the argument for the reverse). 4 dps is a simple response to the warrior-centric makeups that have been dominating arenas for the past few months. They have their counters (imagine a 2 healer setup with a ROGUE lead!)
http://eu.wowarmory.com/team-info.xml?r=Al'Akir&ts=5&t=Victorinox&select=Victorinox&fl=1

Yet nobody seems to run such a makeup.. because 4 dps teams just aren't common enough to make countering them worthwhile. It has nothing to do with skill-- if anything, it has to do with 2345's amazing utility in the face of almost any opposition (often confused with 'no skill required'). Anyone on such a team at a top standing claiming to be good is quite justified. Anyone on such a team in a top standing complaining about a team built to counter them.. is retarded.

That's about it. Going to sleep, I'll fix any mistakes tomorrow morning.

WoW Balance

no.spam@gameriot.com (Maldazzar) — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 04:39:59 -0400

Games are inherently limited by their creators. This is doubtlessly obvious to most people, but it's easy to forget what this means. However complex a game may seem, however many options you may have at your disposal, however many cute little tricks, dances, or exploits you can dream up, it all comes down to one thing. You're playing by someone else's rules, in a world you have little to no control over. Creativity can take you far in any game, yet it's bounded not by YOUR imagination, but by the developer's. That said, I'm going to follow with my view of WoW and its system of balance.

Oh, and a quick introduction. I'm Maldazzar, level 70 UD Warrior on Tichondrius (US). I live in Israel. Been playing since day one, I consider myself to be one of the better players in this not very challenging game. I try to play with unusual makeups in arenas, more in an effort to be unique than anything else. I'm an attention *****. Lots of people don't like me. Hi.

Let's go back to one of the older games in the Warcraft series. Orcs versus Humans. Both races, for most intents and purposes, identical. Balanced? I'd say so. Playing on a symmetrical map, players would have the same options available to them, the same tools to lead them to victory. Now, a quick leap in time -- to Warcraft 3. Suddenly, there are 4 races, all with very distinct and separate traits. Each player now has a completely different set of tools at his disposal. Humans have options Orcs do not, and Undead.. one Acolyte can summon any amount of buildings! Even on a perfectly symmetrical map, there are things your opponent is doing that you simply are not capable of imitating. Balanced? The amount of people still playing the game says yes.

Now imagine a different sort of game. 2 players. There are 3 cards in front of you, and 3 cards in front of him. Each one of your cards can counter one of his cards, and vice versa. The cards are labelled (in no particular order), Rock, Paper, and Scissors. On the count of 3, you both draw a card. Balanced? Perfectly! This is, without a doubt, the ultimate game... what? Nobody's interested in playing? Am I to understand that balance is NOT the be-all and end-all of gaming?

The answer is simple. Every multiplayer game in existence - computer or otherwise - HAS to be a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Leaving an uncounterable course of action open to players is just begging for a dead, dull, and unbalanced product. For ages, developers have been trying to get their games 'just right', tuning and retuning out the overpoweredness of certain options in an effort to make everything have a effective counter.

So what distinguishes WoW, what makes it more appealing than a simple game of Rock, Paper, Scissors? What is it about the PvP aspect of this game that keeps people coming back? The first reason is rather obvious. Player participation. Sure, there is no real way my Warlock/Shadow Priest team can lose to your Warrior/Paladin. But pressing those buttons, watching you fall over dead as a direct result of MY actions, it's all very fulfilling. My self-esteem rises tremendously as I watch my Rock beat your Scissors, as I totally dominate you with my 1337 skills. Adding player participation does add one major factor; uncertainty.

Rock will ALWAYS beat scissors. In WoW, however, Makeup A may USUALLY beat Makeup B, but it is possible for Team B to get lucky, or to outgear/outskill their opposition. It's not just Rock > Scissors > Paper > Rock. Rock can sometimes beat Paper. In other words, players aren't necessarily acting out some predetermined script. They always have a chance, there's always that lucky windfury crit, nightfall proc, or straight up better playing that could turn the match around and gain them some points. Which brings me to my main point.

Complexity. The more complex a game is, the more competitive it is at higher levels of play. I opened up this article with a pretty clear statement. Games are inherently limited by their creators. No human being in the world can beat a computer at chess (assuming no time limits), simply because a computer can predict every possible outcome and force one that grants it a victory. There is no game in the world that cannot be plotted - no game where it's impossible to simply predict every course of action your opponent could possibly take, and then act accordingly. Once the limits of the game have been reached, once every possible result has been achieved, it dies. It disintegrates to a very simple version of Rock, Paper, Scissors, and ceases to be fun.

Games NEED the complexity that WoW offers. Racials, classes, specs, talents, even basic skills- all work together in group arenas to provide some of the most unique and unpredictable gameplay in the world. Another blogger suggested that the mana burn/draining be removed from the game entirely. **** that.

A balanced team 5v5 arena team would want to bring offensive dispels, defensive dispels, and decurse. But there's so much more. Mass dispel to counter immunity, Unstable Affliction to counter spam dispelling, BoP for physical effects. In terms of control, you have effects that break on damage (poly, etc), those that are resistant to damage (fear), or are dispellable, not dispellable (cyclone, stuns), snare effects (frost nova), etc. Movement impairing effects, mind control, mana burn -- everything adds up to create an incredible amount of completely separate and yet equally viable setups.

More than anything else, it is the complexity of this game that must be preserved and enhanced. It is the complexity of this game that will ensure its future, and it is the reason why there will never be one perfect setup to dominate and ruin the competitiveness of arenas. This game (as all games) will always be Rock, Paper, Scissors, but at least have the common sense to let the developers continue developing it, one step ahead of those who seek to merely ride an unbalanced setup to #1.

Maybe I'll write more later, but this is a large enough wall of text as it is.