Blog Posts from "The Daily News" - Gameriot.com

China fakes more documents, Buffy the Church Slayer, an honest politician, bicycle citations to increase revenue-err safety

no.spam@gameriot.com (shinosai) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 18:50:15 -0400

Chinese gymnastics coach: If you don't trust China and our fake documents, who are you going to believe? A country with freedom of the press?

With the decrease in safety on the streets, Chicago police are extremely worried. You see, with oil prices increasing, more people have taken to riding bikes rather than cars. And as we know, it is much more likely to die in a bike than a car, so the police has decided to start issuing citations for bikers breaking the rules.

"This year, four Chicago cyclists have died in bike-car collisions."

That's right, folks, FOUR Chicago cyclists. The numbers are astounding, and personally, I'd do anything to lower the number of casualties to something similar to that of cars. Or maybe I would just stop lying: We're fining cyclists because reduced cars gives us less revenue. Nah... honesty and cops in the same sentence? Ridiculous!

China cheats - IOC orders official investigation of He Kexin's Age

no.spam@gameriot.com (shinosai) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:41:52 -0400

The IOC has finally ordered an investigation into He's age, and I for one am glad they finally decided to take a strong stance against cheating. Just because China is hosting the Olympics does not give them the right to cheat. Why the change of heart, when they originally refused? Well, a professional New York hacker (linked in the article) uncovered official Chinese documents stating that He's age was 14. It's one thing when a newspaper misprints her age, but entirely another when official Chinese documents are removed. Adding to my concern, China of course deleted and removed all such documents and references to them in their wonderful culture of censorship.

Even MORE interestingly: " Even before anyone arrived in Beijing, American media investigations had accused China of fielding three athletes below the 16-year-old minimum age threshold." It seems that complaints began before the Olympics even started, defeating the old argument that no one would complain if the Americans won. They did.

"Faced with almost insurmountable evidence which suggests that He is two years younger than the birth date listed on her Chinese passport, the IOC has launched an inquiry that could result in the stripping of He's gold medals."

It's good that they have finally decided to investigate the Chinese gymnast teams, but I'd also like them to do a little investigating on the Chinese judges. One knows that if the government is willing to fake passports for the sake of winning, the things that China is willing to do to win are practically limitless.

A particularly good quote: "Sure, He is a better gymnast than the Chinese gymnasts who were eligible toÂ compete, but with the judges they had at the Olympics, would it really haveÂ mattered?"

By the way, I think it's about time to recap on all the sketchy stuff that China has done at the Olympics SO FAR. My list is ever growing of course.

Singer replaced by lip syncing girl because she wasn't pretty enough.
Artificial fireworks.
Covered up a dancer that was permanently injured due to unsafe conditions.
Chinese performers for the olympics forced to come in nude to apply to see if their bodies were acceptable.
Chinese cheating gymnastics team.
Chinese protest squares: Anyone found near these is arrested.
Chinese protest applications: 77 received. 74 withdrawn, 2 suspended, 1 rejected
Chinese women, 80 years old, sent to labor camps
Bloggers in China mysteriously disappeared, interrogated by police.

Looks like they are making a big impression on the Western World so far. Keep up the good work, and stay classy China.

No wai! Plane forgets to use turn signal, the Pope sued by Paladins, pastor rides to church on a helicopter, Disney decides not to endorse pedophilia, and more!

no.spam@gameriot.com (shinosai) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:50:48 -0400

Hello, everyone. Today I've decided to try a different format, hope you enjoy.

Accidents happen: This plane forgot to use its turn signal, and subsequently crashed into another plane. Five reported dead. Don't let this put you off from flying though, as you are probably more likely to get struck by lightning than die because your plane crashed into another. Really! Flying is one of the safest ways to travel. Even Superman agrees.

Helicopter saves pastor 20 minutes: Man, those Christians, they just have the coolest ideas! This pastor was afraid that he might be late to give his sermon, so he took a helicopter and cut the travel time from 30 minutes to 12. Complaints from people living nearby include noise, fear that having a launch zone nearby is dangerous, and that the lack of land in the area makes it a bad place to put it. The pastor has agreed to stop using the helicopter in September. The burning question that this writer wants to know: Can Pastors be charged with conspiracy to commit acts of terrorism? Does the Church pay taxes on helicopters?

Paladins vs Pope: Okay, they're not actually Paladins. These guys are the descendants of the Knights Templar, and they are suing the Catholic Church for $150 billion for assets seized by the Catholic Church seven centuries ago. And people bicker about slave reparations from 150 years ago. Clearly, the Catholic Church must now pay for the sins of its ancestors. Uh, yea.... unlikely. "The Vatican will never reimburse the group, Govan says, because its members cannot prove that they are descendants of the Knights Templar." The land they owned they claim now is worth $150 billion, but if that's the case, my great great grandpa was an Indian and the entire state of Ohio owes all its property taxes to me.

: This elderly 85 year old lady catches a 17 year old boy trying to rob her. Leda Smith was quite ready to shoot the little punk, but decided to do something even more fun: She made him call the police and turn himself in. I suppose he learned a valuable lesson: Respect your elders, as even an old lady can own a gun.

Disney loves child porn: Disney has decided NOT to encourage pedophiles to "dive in." Recently, Disney was releasing some underwear themed after the pool scenes in High School Musical 2. However, after several folks down at the news office shared some smirks and grins, Disney decided to cancel its plans. Well, I was ready to dive in, but apparently Chris Hansen had other plans.

China sucks: China has received a total of 77 applications to protest, and they created three protest "squares" to where they can do that protest thing. Coincidentally, 74 protests were withdrawn, two were suspended, and one was vetoed. This news comes of course as the IOC declares the Beijing Olympics a "success." Um, right, should I start a list of the failures? Okay, here goes: Lip syncing girl, paralyzed athlete covered up, fake fireworks, cheating gymnastics team, reporters censored, and now this. Tomorrow's story: "Michael Phelps' gold medals made of steel covered with gold, lead-based paint."

In other news: World of Warcraft still sucks. Oh, and there's some magic carpet mount now.

Oh Snap! Russia will leave Georgia when it pleases, cites US precedent; rapist sues victim, wins; and more!

no.spam@gameriot.com (shinosai) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 18:22:49 -0400

In response to recent media criticism about failing to withdraw in a reasonable time frame, Russia responds: "If I would ask you in response to the same question how fast the American forces can leave Iraq, for example, the answer would be as soon as we have guarantees for peace and security there." Apparently, Ron Paul was right. Our foreign policy has come back to haunt us, as Russia uses our current military debacle to excuse their own policies.

Nineteen year old Jane C. Crane got knocked up by a 15 year old. As a victim of sexual abuse, his name cannot be released. By age, this makes the boy a victim of statutory rape. However, a judge ruled that the boy should pay child support. The boy's parents are now suing for custody, as Crane may not be a suitable parent. The reason: She committed a freaking felony.

Michael Phelps Michael Phelps Michael Phelps Michael Phelps blah blah blah Michael Phelps 8 olympic gold medals Michael Phelps Michael PhelpsÃ‚Â blah blah world record Michael Phelps. I haven't heard enough about Michael Phelps!

The Dark Knight has allegedly put police on a frenzy of paranoia! Two teenagers defaced some cards and wrote "Joker" on them, and later left them in some stores to mimic the recent blockbuster. The interesting part: They're now being charged with "conspiracy to commit acts of terrorism." The only thing written on the card was joker. They might be going a little too far on this one. Of course, the court system in America is already somewhat of a joke, so what's one more?

In the world of fighting, this man decided to have a boxing match with a bear. And this dad decided that he is tired of thugs coming into his neighborhood, and goes all Indiana Jones on them. Judge rules that he may have used excessive force, and this writer humbly asks that any of the gatecrashers come forward and identify themselves so that Indiana Jones can receive a proper fine. And of course, so they can be properly charged for their own crimes.

New Orleans "accidentally" demolishes a couple's new home. Somehow, the city forgot to let the demolishers know that the new house wasn't quite ready for demolition. The couple is sure to sue the pants off them and get more than whatever their house was worth.