Blog Posts from "ain't got style like me" - Gameriot.com

GC - The Storm King Strikes Again

no.spam@gameriot.com (yourmom.com) — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 07:44:35 -0500

Edit: the link wasn't showing up right so I just posted the picture, Hardclass is Sck's Warlock.. yes affix let Gc in QC.

For those who have read Jasi's Storm King article and Exitec's rant on how shady the "top" shaman in the world is, he could have possibly outdone himself and every famous ninja (Cireth included).

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http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/7118/wowscrnshot122707012026cq3.jpg

Avant Garde, probably the top Alliance PvE guild in BG9, accepted Gc in to play for the 5s team that represents this guild. The original basis of xfering to KJ was to gear up his newly acquired draenei shaman, which was stolen from Sr(Aka Soulrender of The Fighting Mongooses from s1 and Team Rupture from s2). He was a good addition to a solid team that AG fielded. His teammates promised to gear him and in classic GC fashion, he played them for all he could.

Gc has broken ties/screwd over the elite teams on Blackrock, Ner'zhul(Frostmane before VC xferred to BG9), and Kil'jaeden. Tich is a huge community, it'll probably be his last pit stop as well.

Final note: I've respected and acknowledged Gc's skill in the past, but honestly I believe in karma. You're the Barry Bonds of WoW, someone must have really picked on you as a child or you have the misfortune of being born black, jewish and gay then had intercourse with a dude with aids. Or just an asian kid that's bitter because has the smallest weiner of all-time.

Toronto: More Competition, Less Godfath3r

no.spam@gameriot.com (yourmom.com) — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 19:55:00 -0400

I know I haven't wrote any blogs in awhile, been trying to advance myself in life and spend less time playing games. I couldn't help but be stuck to my computer during this WSVG, so much controversy and it pleases me to watch WoW grow was an Esport on a live feed. Toronto has been the most competitive WSVG to date, but failed to appeal to the community. Instead, the WSVG staff let the godfath3r ruin what could have been a truely grand finals.

Godfath3r,

I don't know what kind of marketing genius you've thought yourself out to be, but this most recent incident is the 2nd of two that are setting the WoW community back interns of Esports. Sure, the publicity might be good for MoB.. If you're trying to make yourself out to be the ****ters of Gaming instead. Zizek says you're strongly biased towards your 'World Champion 5v5 Team' but most arena experts know that was a fluke due to DQs(Pandemic won like 70% of their games vs TFO on test realm before Blizzcon). Again, they fluked themselves into the finals and got raped almost helplessly. Your players understand how ground breaking Hamchook's team was for WoW and 'Yea We Lift' legitimately raped your teams before you had to step in over a pretty ******* stupid matter.

And seriously, if TFO is going to go anywhere.. They really need more than just Shuckx and masters of musical chairs. He's the only versitile player on the team and they're lucky to have him. "Bene" could be alot more mana efficient if he stopped using polymorph:turtle, like really someone couldn't have tipped him off since BlizzCon about that? Like max-rank sheeping spoh is going to help you in a mana battle(though in 1v1, mage vs druid is a huge uphill battle for a mage). The mana efficiency probably isn't a huge deal considering he has to press bloodrage for Kalero, his saving grace is that his micro is that of a true asian.

Esports and the WoW community wanted to see Hamchook. Hunters had no place in 3v3 arena up until this beast got to Toronto and dickslapped your MoB family thus causing you to cry to the staff. He probably added a whole new fanbase to the WoW Esports scene in this cinderella story alone(With a little help from Ming) and gave all hunters out there some hope. It might be the fault of the WSVG staff for not clarifying the ruleset, but they could have completely DQ'd Hamchook and 'Yea We Lift' but knew how petty the whole incident was and let them keep face. Kudos to the WSVG Staff for making sure we get a 2nd shot at seeing this team in action in LA. eeKs also explained that TurtleBeach could have been completely DQ'd for the button pressing incident, but the staff requested they show them the same courtesy they gave 'Yea We Lift' in not fully DQing them either. You can read eeKs blog at: www.yeawelift.com

Now, I spoke of 2 incidents godfath3r screwed the Esports community. The first was in WSVG:Dallas, Team Rupture and Check Six were set to play on the mainstage. Instead, Vinny cries about his golden child not getting enough attention and gets the only decent first round match kicked off the stream so we can watch Zecks curb stomp some kids like how Pandemic did vs TurtleBeach in the finals. I'm sure everyone in the competitive WoW community knows who you and MoB gaming are, it's not good for Esports to focus around the same ******* people every event. Like really, even the announcers are getting bored of seeing Pandemic completely roll the competition.

This brought up another good point I wanted to address.. Why the hell does CheckSix choke so god damn much? It happend in Louisville and Dallas.. and now Toronto. In the upper bracket semi-finals, Check Six fought Team EG in 5 rounds of mirror matches. CheckSix went up 2-0 and got swept 3 straight of what could have been a guarenteed 3rd place, which they handed to EG. Not taking anything away from EG, but Kevz is one of the most outspoken members of the WoW community that insists he's the most dominant shaman ever. His team has played the Warrior/Paladin/Shaman comp for atleast 1500 games in the last two seasons, more than ANY other team has in the world and gets basically outplayed 3 matches in a row after having the momentum. The community would throughly enjoy a CheckSix vs Pandemic final, seriously. The exchange of words and the rivalry between the two teams is so deep that it would be one for the history books. A lot of the players on x6 and Pandemic have been playing with/against each other going back to the WSG league @ level 60.

Speaking of choke artists.. We must not forget about Trounce and PapaShlapa. Seriously, this event was infinitely more embaressing for them than The Fighting Mongooses at the Regionals. TFM never claimed to be the best in the world though they were hyped to be. I noticed Papa tried to get his team hyped before coming into the event, mentioning his video and "#1 TEAM IN THE WORLD" blog(http://worldofpapa.blogspot.com). Congradulations Papa, you are now the official running joke of the competitive community. Get Trounced?

I hope the accuracy judge for Guitar Hero 2 gets aids and dies. Why the **** would you give Freddy a 5 with 94% accuracy and dooming him from the finals? The other judges should have realized how much a ****tard that guy was and given him like 11 points for style. I personally turned off the stream once they announced that some twigy, bare-foot ***bois were in the finals and Freddy was out.

The WoW coverage was 100% better than Leeroy's "GETTING HIT HARD" approach to shoutcasting, and the guest commentators really helped out the matches. There were just some factually errors that went unnoticed like saying Pandemic won BlizzCon during the finals match, but all-in-all these guys were pro. Props to WarWitch, Rekuul, Kazril, Xantims, and Trance for good commentary. Hopefully it keeps getting better.

Wrapping things up, this WSVG has been the worst event so far, see Mr. Putnam's take on it as well: http://www.gameriot.com/blogs/Kows-Hardline/WSVG-Toronto-Worst-Event-to-Date/. Ming's latest article: http://www.gameriot.com/blogs/World-of-Ming/The-Toronto-Screw-Job/ is completely correct.. It baffles me how he manages to still make himself look like a tool while presenting good information.

MVP of WSVG Toronto: Nitrana of Pandemic

Not only was he the key man in their 3dps lineup that they frequently ran in Toronto, his background commentary was awesome. Nitrana is also the only member of Pandemic to never lose a match.

Summing up my article for the TLDR people:

- Mob TurtleBeach fluked again.

- The WSVG better show Hamchook on the live stream in LA

- Yea We Lift could have been fully DQ'd but the tournament organizers were against it.

- MoB could have been fully DQ'd but were given the same courtesy as Yea We Lift.

- Don't kick competitive matches off stage so you can get more publicity.

- Choke Six needs to chew more before they swallow.

- Don't Papashlapa yourselves and hype that you're the best in the world, then proceed to lose to locals.

- The Accuracy judge for GH2 should get aids and die.

- God damn I ******* hate when Ming is right, and still manages to make himself look like a complete tool.

E******: The True Blizzard Groupie

no.spam@gameriot.com (yourmom.com) — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 18:55:54 -0400

WoW geeks go ga-ga over any mention of females playing WoW. This weekend at Blizzcon, there were truely some unbelievable ladies that came to show their passion for the game. Even Mila Kunis(Jackie from "That 70's Show" showed up to check out the ultimate geek gathering.

This is not about some celebrity that plays WoW because it's no surprise that anyone nowadays plays it. Instead, I bring to you a girl that has gone and taken the e-***** movement to a whole new level.

On the server Illidan(US), proud home of Team EG's 'The HUKS', a true fangirl came to cheer on her home team. She's seen here cheering on The Huks in the players only area:

Now, you're asking what's so epic about this girl? Lets say she really had no business being in the players area, it was blocked off to everyone but press, staff, and obviously the gamers.

How did she get there? Lets say this certain lady was seen cuddling and walking around at Blizzcon with a certain poindexter-looking Upper Deck representative for WoW:TCG. Not only is she going to be given a card based off her ingame mage, she happend to be the finder of the 'Spectral Tiger' mount card that was exclusively used only for WotLK testing at Blizzcon.

Luckily for the Huks, she's a huge fangirl and gave all of them the prized mount that's sold on ebay for $1,000.

Blizzard treats their groupies better than rockstars. Is there anything wrong with it? No, we just need a pair of tits that can actually play arena so our community can take off.

CGS: The Complete Garbage Series

no.spam@gameriot.com (yourmom.com) — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:17:52 -0400

Before the tournament started, I heard one of the CGS admins say â€œThese matches should be pretty fast paced, and easier to watch than 5v5sâ€. When one class is built to take on almost every class solo, the outcome becomes mirror matches of basically 1v1 warlock duels.

Best of all is when every team except the PvE all-star team (They used premade characters though, so their gear was a non-factor) is gaylock and paladin.

For those who want to know what happened, every CGS match except the DnT matches were mana drain dicksucking contests that lasted for 15 minutes. Multiply that by 7 or whatever teams amount of that were playing thatâ€™s hours of yawn fests.

If this was strictly a CGS event, most of the audience would have had a better time playing with their dongs in the public restrooms.

The WoW List - Pt. 2

no.spam@gameriot.com (yourmom.com) — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 05:22:19 -0400

I felt my last previous WoW list was a success, and I knew if I was going to write a sequel; It'll have to be better. Also, I'm going to try to incorporate more images in my articles.

I had some more spams from EU haters, before I get into the geeky WoW portion; lets compare American and Europeon women.

There's no debate on this, EuropeÂ is more passionate about the penis. We'll let them have that.

Guilds:

Corp Hur formally of Warsong(US) - Now, this guild should appropriately called '***** Status'. How a group of people could let some scrub, that also plays the most useless class in the game, run their wow lives for his personal e-peen stroking. This useless scrub I talk about is named Avatar, who gained a reputation for having many items before people that would actually benefit from them. I'm saving most of my dirt for his my paragraph on him below. Lets just say this guild did end up getting him in the end, at the expense of them wasting a year of their lives being his *****es.

Goon SquadÂ of Mal'ganis(US)Â - I might not even have to explain, who the f*ck names themselves the Goon Squad anyways? This is basically the scrub, feeder guild of Elitist Jerks(A popular PvE theorycrafting guild, famous for their forums). Basically, required membership needs you to own a SomethingAwful.com account which is like a $10 registration fee. The thing about the SA forums is you have to keep paying to use their features and it's not really worth it unless your obsessed with accessing every feature the site has to offer(lol nerd). This guild has been around since day 1 on Mal'ganis, but is probably the worst of all the guilds that's been around(This guild has a constant memberÂ roster capped out at 500 as well btw, holy f*cking geeks.) Basically, if you are a hardcore poindexter nerd but have no real talentÂ for video games; this is the guild for you.

Blackrock Legends on Blackrock(US) - Originality was not the strong suit of the guild leaders that made this guild. You might be asking, why does this completely non-factor guild deserve a mention in this article? Well, let's take a look at the founder(She's in the middle): http://www.blizzard.com/blizzcon05/images/costumes/general/ss187.jpgÂ

Yo, blackrock is a PvP server right?

Elitist Jerks on Mal'Ganis(US) - It's appropriate I talk about EJ when I mention Goon Squad, because this is the guild that those goons strive to be invited to. For many, it won't and will never happen. EJ hasÂ had the most exclusive recruitment (Even tighter than Nurfed) since the majority ofÂ Jerks are GoonsÂ from beta.Â At launch, theyÂ started asÂ Hooligan Syndicate and then became Elitist Jerks. Their following is so huge that many successful fanboi guilds have popped up on their side of the server, some managed to pass EJ in progression due to having a more aggressiveÂ stance onÂ recruitment. Their raid leader 'Gurgthock' was the man that solely balanced the unkillible 'C'thun' encounter and Blizzard was kind enough to name an annoying NPC in Nagrand after him. This is the part where I would explain what you would have to be to join this guild, but like I've already said you can't; so if you're one of those guys on Mal'ganis trying to be in EJ. You fail.

More Pathetic People in WoW

TressaÂ of Blackrock(US)Â - Apparently this rogue is just a pathetic loser in real life and gets caught failing to hook up with girls online. Here's a sample, note: the girl in tressainlovetwo is also the girl mentioned in one of the "E****** of the Month" article.

(Quoted from tressainlove2)

See:

http://tressainlove.ytmnd.com

http://tressainlove2.ytmnd.com

I heard he did have success with some girl named Lauz, she was described as quite obese and manly.

Avatar formally of Corp Hur(US) -

Let me describe my first experience with him. I log onto PTR during the first PTR launch ever and go outside to duel infront of IF.Â I approach this hunter for a duel, then I notice he's using a Vis'kag the Bloodletter and Gutgore Ripper in offhand. For you that never raided MC or Onyxia, neither of these items have any stats on them and it's pretty much pointless to have weapons like these as a hunter. A low level green would be more effective, but he choose to flex his e-peen and that was the themeÂ for the rest of his wow career. Again, I can't stress what kind of morons would let this guy ***** them around. He also managed to tank Nef throughout the whole encounter, which is quite impressive.

Tribeca of Laughing Skull(US) - This is probably one of the most epic and e-famous stories to come out of WoW. Basically, this girl put up a craigslist.com article asking for 5000 gold in exchange for sex. Let me quote the craigslist ad: "Hello I need 5000 gold world of gold for my EPIC flying mount. In return you can mount me." (Yes, sheÂ did fail english apparently.)Â She did also say she had a costume and was "Not adverse to the idea of groups/anal".

She later responded on craigslist saying:Â "I got MY Epic flying mount AND I got laid which is more than most of you failures can ever hope for"

AidsÂ and rehab must be a hefty price for having no self-respect or dignity.

Â See: http://epicslut.ytmnd.com/

I must say, this guy paid aÂ steep price for a crack-***** with a mullet. 5000g translates to about $600-$650 if bought over the internet.

Ming, I do believe this woman will sleep with you..Â You probablyÂ wouldn't even know what to do with a costume wearing anal-*****. She does play a druid by the way but does not have solid elune stars for eyes. Possibly you can roleplay a duel and make a video of "Hero of the Rogues" backstabs woman from behind.

In an effort to save content and develop inspiration for articles, this is my last one for a couple days. Wrath of the Lich King?Â Level 80? God damn I hate leveling.

WoW: America vs Europe, an Epic Battle

no.spam@gameriot.com (yourmom.com) — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 12:48:23 -0400

Some scrub commented on my blog about making mentions of Europeons, though maybe in my next WoW List article I might. But this inspired me to describe the differences between American WoW players and Europeon WoW players.

I felt the only way to protray the difference is with images, enjoy.

Versus

This might be a preview of blizzcon ladies and gentlemen. And, America still has our secret weapon hidden away for the greatest event to happen sometime in the future.

What do those Euro dickslaps have on us now?

Stay tuned for Pt. 2 of The WoW List

Rogues, blogs, and gameriot: Whats wrong?

no.spam@gameriot.com (yourmom.com) — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 05:02:16 -0400

The amount of filth content on this website is simply hideous. I've found the root of most of this garbage: The rogue communityÂ of WoW.

A good number of blogs dedicated to rogues have formed, and have gained some popularity. This is bad ladies and gentlemen, first off let's divulge on any good reason to be a rogue:

#1. You can stealth.

#2. This class is closest to be a "ninja-type" class, or was Ming would say: the true "Jonin", or some other retarded asian related garbage.

#3. Refer back to #1.

Lets reference this; Tipper said that she picked the rogue class simply because that the idea of being in stealth was "amusing". (http://www.gameriot.com/blogs/BOYOBOYY/I-should-have-listened-to-vHell/)If every retard that started playing wow chose a class without doing any homework... They've obviously already chosen a rogue(Or Hunter, but hunters are on a whole new level of screwd in PvP and it's mostly the fruitcakes/chicks playing hunters anyways). Now fast-foward to level 70 and the part where they find out their class is doomed. They then rush to the internet and try to research/connect with the rest of their community to find a solution to their inadequacy. Thus we have the "Hero of the Rogue Community" and WoM. When slightly smarter rogues realize that Ming is a trash fob, they in-turn make their own blogs in attempt to save the rest of their doomed brothers. The geniuses that once played this class such as Inactive and Dahis, now play warriors. Ironic? No, they're just ahead of the curve interms of deciding on a more dominant and valuable WoW career.

Still haven't figured out what I'm talking about?Â Â

Examples of garbage flooding the Gameriot community:

> http://www.gameriot.com/blogs/World-of-Ming/RIP-Minti-Sama/

> http://www.gameriot.com/blogs/The-Raiding-Rogue-Compendium/Part-I-Hit-Rating-and-Weapon-Skill/

> http://www.gameriot.com/blogs/Fivezorz-Blogzorz-Blogorama/mutilate-vs-combat-maces/

> http://www.gameriot.com/blogs/Daggers-Go-Clink-Clink/You-should-be-mutilate/

>Â http://www.gameriot.com/blogs/A-yell-out/Some-people-like-nitranaming/Â

>Â http://www.gameriot.com/blogs/Nerf-Warlocks/Combat-DaggerFists-viable/Â

Now, this might seem like a great thing for gameriot to have so many successful blogs this early on in the website's infancy. WRONG. These rogues are much like the Jews of the 1940s to the Nazis. They imperfect, ignorant, and there's only a few of them that deserve to be salvaged as players and as people(I have respect for you, Nitrana, this does not pertain to you or the top .1% of the rogue community).

While gameriot will not ban rogue-based blogs simply because they are fuelingÂ aÂ largeÂ number of hits on this website, I for one believe they should be quarantined and not just to their own part of the internet but possibly some ****hole where they can't post their garbage in views of public eyes.

Even Ming points out how inadequate his class is in-terms of 5v5s(Obviously the only bracket blizzard cares about, why else would you get more arena points for achieving a high rating in this bracket opposed to 3v3 or 2v2?) Admittingly, rogues have found a spot in 3s thanks to Zecks and Nitrana. If they had not used their comps successfully in WSVG, rogues would not be anywhere near the top in this bracket. Why would Ming keep playing this class and continue to think of himself as the "Hero of Rogues"? Basically, medical professionals would diagnose this as a result of a form of mental retardation fueled by dementia. Or simply, he was hit too many timesÂ with the idiot stick growing up.

UPDATED: I lost track at some point in this article about why I really made it. I feel that if gameriot.com continues to be flooded with WoW rogue/strategy articles without a way to block or seperate them from other games, eventually this will just be wowriot.com and lose it's focus on gaming in it's entire essence. May as well let Ming grace the front page at all times.

The WoW List - If you're someone, I probably mentioned you

no.spam@gameriot.com (yourmom.com) — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 12:27:36 -0400

Boredom and coffee have given me some inspiration this morning, lets make a list of people that have wasted more of their life in WoW than you.. And possibly people you should throw snowballs at and /spit. I am a BG9er that's been around for quite sometime, but would like to remain anonymous for entertainment's sake.

Guilds:

Nurfed on Blackrock(US) - This guild is basically THE guild to be in if you are the cream of the crop of WoW nerds. You'll receive a guarenteed Alpha testing invite just based on the fact that the guild leader is a head programmer for Blizzard. Warning: Application to this guild requires you to spend weeks to months sitting on the sidelines and provided you are good at ******s.

Death and Taxes on Korgath(US) - For being the most progressed guild in the US, they bring a whole new meaning to PvE2PvP. Proud home to the biggest geeks and virgins in the world, their website is quite popular for the carebearÂ ***bois. Basically, this guild will spend more time than yours at this game simply so they feel better about their pathetic lives.

Notorious on Tichondrius(US) - THIS IS THE ONLY NOTORIOUS THAT MATTERS. There happens to be like a bizillion guilds with the name 'Notorious' and it's sad for the rest of you becauseÂ no cares about anyone but the best. Famous for their arena teamÂ 'Team Hamdemic', Notorious hosts some of the best PvPers in the world(And, definately the LARGEST ones as well).

T AÂ O on Tichondrius(US) - This guild is basically dead in WoW, but used to be called the "BEST PVP GUILD IN THE WORLD" pre-TBC. Lets backtrack to that time and talk about them. Pre-TBC, PvP was gauged on how good your WSG team was in BG9 because of the WSG League.Â T A O perfected the art of spamming potions and using every cheap trick you could find in WoW by even getting lvl 10 items like 'Magic Dust' to use in WSG(Magic Dust is like a Blind that anyone can use and is a pretty rare drop in Westfall). It was home to retards such as Ponies and Idejder that are completely terrible at WoW but can talk off anyone's face off. Their druid 'Atomik' is widely reguarded as the best flag runner ever to play the game.

Scrub Guilds on BG9:

Avant Garde on Kil'Jaeden(US) - I have a personal vendetta against this team.Â They farmed to 2400 in S1 during the time that most of the good teams in BG9 were at the SD regionals. Immediately after they achieved the rating needed toÂ secure aÂ netherdrake, they immediately quit PvP with six weeks left in the season and started talking themselves up. Basically, a bunch of scrubs that were scared to get farmed and decided to run their mouths while having no testicular fortitude to back it up.

C A P S L O C K C R E W on Tichondrius(US) - Ming and other morons have been talking up the fact they came into BG9 and rolled their way to 2300. Today, they disbanded their team due to being failures against real competition. I guess trying to maintain a supurb winning percentage gets you laid?

Pathetic People in WoW:

Geecee on Blackrock(US) - Okay, this kid has probably failed out of high school and has a 2inch weiner. No one spends more time dueling than this no-life in WoW period. It's rumored he missed out on the 2v2 CGS tournament because he's 17 and couldn't bring his parents to change his diaper. His people skills reflect his age as well.

Ming of Lightning's Blade(US) - Who doesn't think this guy is the luckiest retard on the planet? He made a decent about of money off his popular website worldofming.com and gets to poke fun at people superior than him in a game which he prides himself as being the "Hero of the Rogue Community". God I don't know where to begin, but it's obvious by his poor recruitment of WoM girls that he is still a virgin. Anyone that can reference every narato episode to relate to real life is quite possibly more pathetic than george bush himself.

Imberlyn of Kel'thuzad(US) - A WoM girl, and attempts to be a feminist in a game where girls only matter if they'll send you a pic of their tits. Though somewhat more educated than Ming, this girl managed to sign up for the right team when the retards were recruiting. She now tries to win some community support by bashing Ming on his own website and wants to attempt to become a good wow player. Neither will happen and it's most likely she will contract aids and die.

Ponies of Tichonidrus - First off, this guy made a TROLL shaman. Not saying that all troll shamans are retarded, this just happens to go with the theme that he doesn't make good decisions at all. When T A O made their debut in WSVG @ Dallas, it was predicted their team would go as far as Ponies would take them. As we know, that wasn't very far at all. He basically wasted their two Europeon teammates cash by participating in the tournament and continues to fail for other teams across Tichondrius:Horde.

The Current Hero of WoW:

Xi of Korgath(US) - A man with a dream, probably one of the most legendary men to grace the game. There once wasÂ a rant on dtguilds.com that was soÂ epic that I felt I might have to dedicate a blog to later on. Gameriot has recently shut down his blogs and given him a permenant level of 1. I guess they named himÂ their #1.