Time Warner Cable, Warcraft on the river, MLG Dallas fast approaches

Our ****-tastic Netgear combo modem/router (why do they use these?  they overheat and work poorly and because of that also have a short lifespan before they literally burn out and do not function) bit the dust this week and I groaned from my soul.  I knew immediately how much of a hassle this would be to get someone out here to swap it with some other refurbed ****pile combo router.  Those reading this should know the phone system for Time Warner Cable is located in the deepest layer of hell. 

You can enter the correct telephone number and be told "not enough numbers entered, try again" multiple times in a row, with a maximum of two tries per phone call before disconnection.  This leads to multiple calls where you have to go through, "To continue in English, press..." and, "If you are calling from your home line, press 1.  If you are calling from another number, press 2..." before trying again and hoping sense prevails.

Anyway, I finally reached a real person after 20 minutes, he had severe blackinitis and could not handle entering my four digit pin code correctly.  When I was a four-year-old I could remember my 4 digit street address, my ten digit telephone number, my grandparents' number and a few others.  This agent couldn't hold 4 numbers in his head for the time it took to type them in correctly.  He transferred me to another part of the department.  Nothing was resolved, and here is my complaint letter that goes into the customer feedback for the black support agent to be seen by his boss, I assume:


_____________________________
"Was this session helpful and did it resolve your issue?  Why or why not?"

(the 'support' was to unplug and replug in the modem and then they said they'd send out someone in 3 days.  I am without internet and furious.  I have work I do online daily for my Dad.)

I know how to reset my GD modem.  Make it easier to reach an agent, local or otherwise, that can actually SOLVE AN ISSUE WITH LOSS OF INTERNET SERVICE.  I am doing this from my iPhone because your phone support is so labyrinthine that I can't possibly reach the person necessary to resolve the issue.  The one time I reached the correct department and an agent that wasn't incompetent (first one incorrectly entered our pin number twice and told us "it wasn't the correct one" and transferred us) she simply scheduled a cable worker to come out 3 days from now - making clear that if this was in any way "our fault" we would be charged a service fee.  We pay $150+ a month for your services and your solution is to tell us to deal with it for 3 days, upon which time we might be fined.

I am not mentally handicapped and its clear how difficult you make it to solve your issues in order to minimize costs to an ascetic level.  I need a new combo modem/wireless router (by the way good job on those, they're a COMPLETE bag of **** and you must have known that when you purchased them in bulk 5 years ago and have been refurbing them to your poor customers ever since) which can cost at most $15 out of your company's pocket.

You have lost a customer for life.  I am getting married in January and would have had no reason to switch providers had this not happened.  The moment we move in I am going with AT&T.  Sure, your service is spotty and your cable cuts out from time to time but hey, most cable companies have issues like that.  The way you retain customers is through your support and service departments.  Your support system is an absolute medieval gauntlet.  Tens of thousands of dollars in gross revenue from me over my lifetime is gone.  If the only option in my area at any point is Time Warner Cable, I will install a satellite to avoid you.

Hope you go bankrupt.

Sincerely,
Lost Customer

__________________________________

I went down to South Texas last weekend for a friend's bachelor party and floated the Frio in Concan.



I have internet tethering on my iPhone and I briefly used it to sit on the bank of the river with my laptop to surf the web - until I realized how drunk I was and how bad an idea it was even sober.  I even got onto WoW for a minute with the 3G running hot to keep me connected.  Was a fun moment of pushing consumer-available technology to it's current limit.  Nothing like running a daily quest a half mile from a power source and nowhere near a wifi connection.

MLG Dallas

I've said it a few times now, so here's the last chance:  I will be at MLG Dallas and if you are 21 and attending in any form leave your favorite major liquor in the comments section and I'll bring a little bottle of it with me.  Hanging out at the competition with a Soco 100 and Coke is going to be a blast.

Also I turn 25 tomorrow.  Wish me a happy birthday or be cast into the fiery lake.