Ladies of Gameriot: Take Your Pick

Here at Gameriot, we have an ever-growing community of eager females who drop by with (sometimes) insightful commentary on popular topics.  While the focus of Gameriot is obviously on games, there is an overriding social dynamic here that pushes the community into a much wider variety of topics.



Your average Gameriot user, much like the members of other communities, does not identify his gender or post RL pictures of himself.  Why? Because he is interested in the subject matter of the site, rather than making some connection to his "real" life.  On this site, we have WoW, Politics, Gaming News, and so on, nothing with a real connection to anyone's personal life.  Keep in mind these major points:

* Most people on a gaming forum are socially awkward or immature
* Nearly everyone is a guy, at least 95%
* Given no other information, every member is assumed to be male

What About The Ladies?

When it comes to girls on the internet, there are a few very simple rules, and these rules hold true here on Gameriot as much as they do in any other online community.

Rule 1: By labeling yourself as female, you are requesting additional attention.

There is no harm done here, but the act is pretty transparent.  Your real life gender has no bearing on any discussion, but you enjoy the special treatment you get from the aforementioned 95%+ male population.  No big deal -- hell, I want attention too.

Rule 2: When you post a picture of yourself, you are basically trying to find out whether guys "in general" are interested in having sex with you.

In real life, it is rather awkward (and rightly so) to approach strangers and ask them if they find you attractive.  For a girl, however, this is a nagging question that never leaves the back of her head.  Self-esteem and body image issues drive females (particularly in materialistic societies like the United States) to wonder, "Does anyone like me?"  Luckily, on the internet, it is perfectly acceptable to shop yourself around and ask total strangers if they would be willing to couple with you.

With that in mind, I am here to answer your questions and bring you what you want.  I will give you my honest opinion and tell you whether I would be interested in sexual relations with you.  This honesty is hard to find from guys, so I know you'll appreciate my straightforward answers.

Now, before Slapnuts gets too excited, remember, this is an intellectual exercise.  When I appraise a person here, I am not talking about an immediate real-life encounter, it's all hypothetical.  Basically, if you were a single guy, and the girl in question were available and interested, would you give her a shot? 

Now, let's get down to business.

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Hafu

Graphics: 8

Here we have a girl of Asian heritage, we assume most or all Chinese, with a very pleasant look.  Hafu is known to dress conservatively, and always presents herself tastefully.  She is a very healthy size, neither overweight nor stick-thin, which is a plus.  Her face is not any kind of exotic knockout, but it's a nice package all together, and she is a good looking girl.

Fun Factor: 6

Hafu is known to be an avid gamer, and she is also very shy.  Her chocolate voice belies her competitive spirit, but at heart she likes to avoid the spotlight.  You can bet Hafu likes to be somewhat social, and enjoys herself, but she won't ever be much of a wild & crazy type. Given her age, we will not make sexual speculations (though perhaps Glickz or Zyz can weigh in for us?).

Replay Value: 6

Torn on this subject: to the naked eye, Hafu seems to be a great choice for a longer commitment.  She's attractive, she'd share some of your hobbies, and she is not particularly high-maintenance.  The catch, as we've seen recently in her dealings with WoW sponsors, is her extremely fickle nature.  Will she ever be able to commit?  Will she fall "out of love" with you down the road?  Will she cheat on you behind your back?  It's hard to say for sure, but the lack of confidence on these answers knocks the score down a few notches.

Would You Do Her: No Comment

We refrain from commenting on sexual relations with Hafu, as she is currently underage.  Suffice to say, however, that she would definitely be worth placing on a Mary-Kate- and Ashley-style "Countdown to 18".

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Relm

Graphics: 6

This is a tough one to judge for me, as the source material is fairly limited.  Relm is a girl who doesn't seem sure about what look she is going for, and the result is uninspired.  We can see from her arms and face that she is of a healthy weight, but the clichéd MySpace-style photos are not really doing her any favors.  Eyeliner is a little much, and the T-shirts-only wardrobe hints at her desire to be somewhat counter-cultural.  Relm in general comes across as trying to look "misunderstood," wanting to fit in with someone but not society at large.  Not the type you'd pick out as a trophy, but a decent-looking girl that could raise her score here with a little more style.

Fun Factor: 9

I really see a lot of potential here for Relm.  The relatively obscure band T-shirts and the disconnect from the typical "in-crowd" persona means that she is ready to totally give everything to a guy if she can find the right person.  What does that mean?  A sexual devotee.  She'll give you road head, she'll let you try anal if you want, she'll go for some public sex if you drop the hint.  Not a primadonna by any stretch, you'll never hear her complain that it's too late, that you need to take a shower first, that she's tired, or anything like that.  Great fun -- she wants to make you happy because it makes her happy.

Replay Value: 10

A girl with romantic dreams who has felt disappointed by men so far, Relm is a keeper for life.  If she connects with you, she will commit for good.  No threat to cheat on you, and she will never think she's too good to give you a ******* after you get married.  She will want to work together to achieve goals, she won't spend a lot of money, and while she would like to be "taken care of," she doesn't expect to sit around and be pampered.  A little love will go a long way for Relm, and you can bet she'll make you happy for the rest of your life.

Would You Do Her: YES

Relm has some work to do on her "look," but you wouldn't be ashamed to walk around with her on your arm.  Her capacity for devotion is refreshing, and she's only lightly used, a hard quality to find these days.  I would definitely lay some pipe in there if given the chance, and she is also the most likely to be interested in a threesome with another girl.

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Faction

Graphics: 9

On looks alone, I would probably rate this as an 8, but the air of confidence boosts Faction's visual appeal to the next level.  You'd have to see it to believe it.  She has a nice build, a little curvier than Hafu, and she's right near the sweet spot for overall size (not too big, not too small).  She has a strong, quiet look on the outside, a pretty face but not dainty or fragile.

Fun Factor: 7

Faction has a very strong personality, and she knows exactly what she wants.  This can be a refreshing change for many guys in the bedroom, and her sexual prowess is astounding.  She's very demanding, knowing how good she is and expecting nothing less in return.  Very businesslike until she is behind closed doors, Faction's transformation into a boudoir beast will leave men breathless -- but make sure you're ready to go down on her regularly.  She has a real talent for *******s, but she'll expect you to earn the right, and she won't finish all the way.  Faction doesn't beat around the bush when she is unhappy with a situation -- this can lead to roller-coaster relationships, but boy those highs are high!

Replay Value: 3

The main problem here is the same feature that creates the "fun": she knows exactly what she wants, and how to get it.  Faction is not really that concerned with your interests, what you enjoy, what you'd like to do.  You are essentially her booty call (and you will stay up to wait for her phone call, trust me).  She has no problem juggling multiple men at the same time, and there is no sense of commitment from her.  She tires of things quickly, making her extremely expensive (financially) to retain, and a long-term relationship is out of the question.  In between marathon sex sessions, she'd rather not be around you, and she will never show any affection for you in public, to maintain deniability when she inevitably moves on to someone else.  She'll be the lay of your life, but you'll have to check your ego at the door when you get in line.

Would You Do Her:  YES PLEASE

Faction is probably the most discerning female on this list.  She has no lack of confidence, and that makes her a much harder nut to crack when it comes to getting in her pants.  Basically, she either comes looking for you, or nothing happens at all.  So, with that in mind, I would jump at the chance to tag Faction's ass.

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Whimsey

Graphics: 9

Whimsey would be our top choice if we were simply going by the pictures.  She has a very cute look, an effortless smile, and some curves to boot.  She pays attention to mainstream styles, and works hard to keep herself looking good.  Rather than wanting someone to like her, Whimsey wants everyone to like her -- and she does a pretty good job of making that happen.  Great face, great body, what's not to like?  A 10 is reserved for the most stunning of women, and she's nearly there.  You'd definitely feel proud to walk around with her in tow.

Fun Factor: 7

A mixed bag here with Whimsey.  On the one hand, she is very much a "party girl" and tries to go along with the mainstream social scene as much as possible.  She makes sure to read all the girl magazines, prides herself on her ******* technique, and always tries to do what is supposed to be "hot."  The downside is that she's a bit of a princess about the whole thing -- sex is not an option unless you've both showered and she has her makeup on (you know the type).  She enjoys sex, but it's very important that you repeatedly praise her body during the process or she will lose interest, turn off the lights, and say her tummy hurts.  As long as you don't mind this, you're in for a good time, as she's in good shape and very willing to prove her reputation for being a hottie.

Replay Value: 6

Whimsey loves to include her "guy" in her life, and this includes dragging him against his will to hang out with her girlfriends.  This is a bit of a downside, but it's not all bad, since she genuinely does want you around all the time.  She'll go along with some things you enjoy too, though not quite as enthusiastically.  Her tastes are a little expensive, and she loves to shop, but she's not too over the top.  The biggest problem here is that you might go out of style yourself -- she'll want to mold you into her little "boy toy," and if you resist her attempts to clothe and style you, she will actually become less attracted to you.  When she moves on from you to a newer gel-haired collar-popper sporting oversizes sunglasses, your heart will be broken, because it was fun while it lasted.

Would You Do Her: YES, WITH A CONDOM

She's definitely a fine little number, but the party girl lifestyle has a few inherent risks.  There is a decent chance that she has genital herpes or HPV, and either of these can put a cramp in things sexually.  Luckily, girls with these problems are pretty forgiving if you choose to steer clear of oral, so it's not too bad.  Depending on how hard she's partied, there's also the risk that her ****** looks and feels like an flat bicycle tire -- get her excited enough, however, and you won't notice the difference.

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Estel

Graphics: 7

This Chinese girl is thin, but not bony, and has a pleasant face.  Overall, she looks to be fit and healthy, though I dropped her down a point for her uncanny ability to look androgynous at times.  As she ages, we may find that she fills out with some more womanly curves to distance herself from the boy look and this score would rise.  Estel is an attractive girl, not stunningly so, but it's still a nice look.

Fun Factor: 8

As with most girls raised with very traditional Asial cultural values, Estel is most comfortable in a subservient position in the household, and will aim to please her man wherever possible.  This attitude means she puts her feelings below yours when it comes to sex: if you want it, you got it.  She will not be *****y, she will not complain about anything, and she will always ask you what you like and try to do it better.  She is most likely of this bunch to wake you up with a morning *******, and she will never deny any request that you make of her.  Hygiene standards are very different in China, where it is not uncommon to go several days without bathing or brushing the teeth -- you can be sure Estel will never spoil an intimate moment by complaining that you smell bad or need to shower.

Replay Value: 10

While her strong family ties will dictate that you spend more time than you'd like with her family, Estel is a sure-fire winner in the long term.  Her family is quite wealthy, which is an immediate benefit as they shower you in gifts and wealth, and they will continue to supply additional funding where necessary to ensure that Estel never has to work for a living.  She will not dare betray you by sleeping with another man, given her traditional Chinese values -- in fact, you can even cheat on her and she will simply accept it (I don't condone this practice).  Estel will be a dedicated wife to you, a loving mother to your children, and you will enjoy time spent with her and being seen with her in public. If you wish to spend time with your friends, away from her, she will not complain or feel hurt.

Would You Do Her: **** YES

The "eager to please" cultural attitude is absolutely priceless in the bedroom, and this alone would be worth the price of admission.  She has a elegant look, a sharp mind, and a dedicated heart -- what more can you ask for?  I think Ming has really picked a winner here.

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Where Do We Go From Here?

Well, ladies of Gameriot, you know what to do in general, post your pics so we can weigh in with our opinions.  Guys, feel free to comment and let us know if you would do any of these chicks; they are dying to know.

Other girls out there who are interested in being scored, please feel free to send me a PM with further information or pictures and we can discuss.  I know we'd all like to see more from Arianette and others.  If you have some pictures up on Gameriot now, post a few more revealing ones so we can give you an informed opinion on how your body looks: stand further from the camera, and wear as little clothing as possible.   What do you have to lose, after all?  I am a total stranger to you.  You can trust me not to publish nude shots, but if you don't believe me just take them with your face out of the shot.