Want to become a CEO? Play WoW!

Do you dream of one day managing a global corporation? Does the thought of looking down on the rest of the human race from your ivory tower on Wall Street bring a smile to your face? Does the idea of employing cheap Chinese labourers for less than $1 a day get you excited? Do you want to join booze cruises with the likes of Steve Jobs, Warren Buffett and Rupert Murdoch?

Well, my friend, you need to start playing World of Warcraft (WoW)!

WoW is currently Earth’s most popular game with around 11.5 million subscribers worldwide. The game teaches leadership skills through a system known as “raiding”. This involves taking a group of 10 or 25 people to defeat an immensely powerful enemy boss. Critical to the outcome of the raid are “guild leaders” who must demonstrate sensemaking (understanding the context in which they operate), relating (developing key relationships), visioning (creating a compelling vision of the future) and inventing (new ways of working together). As budding entrepreneurs I’m sure you’ll recognise this as the Sloan Model of Leadership which, with ‘Discursive Digressions’, you can experience first-hand.

We are now giving you the opportunity to test and develop your leadership skills within WoW’s online world. Our programme, in partnership with IBM and Seriosity, gives you a pre-made level 80 character and a free guild with 24 other members (all from China and on a low wage of course… they speak English don’t worry) to begin your raiding experience.

This excellent package enables you to deal with typical in-game problems. For example, guild resentment against the only female member who e-cheated on the rest of them. Flame wars between different sets of members due to win-trading on the 2v2 ladder. A main tank that acts like a complete douche and thinks he’s God’s gift to WoW. Healers constantly getting emotional because everyone blames them when the raid wipes and that retard hunter who has the lowest dps of the entire group and yet always criticises your decisions.

Tested by leading experts in the world of Massively Multiplayer Online research, this fabulous offer can help you to secure a high-ranking job in the corporate field. Here’s a message from Bernard Madoff, a WoW enthusiast: “World of Warcraft allows players to develop skills and aptitudes essential for succeeding in business. If you want to become a success story like me take advantage of ‘Discursive Digressions’ once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You won’t regret it!”