January: E-Peen Awareness Month

This post is directed at our loveable, huggable, battleground chat pwnzrs. You know, those soft cuddly "WTF R U DOING NUBSAUCE?!?!!?1" teddy bears we call team mate. We love you.

Today, let's talk about a topic that pervades game title. WoW? Sure. WAR? Absolutely. LotRO? Bet your naked hobbit (and a leering Gandalf).

I enjoy PvP. It's fun, active, and filled with intensity. I've noticed a disturbing pattern though, some of the most rude, obnoxious, and argumentative people spam battleground chat.

Why is that?

I tend to keep to my guild when I'm PvPing, so I've never been on the receiving end of the hattery. I've seen enough people berated for not obeying the orders of "pwnsurnub" though, that I've started turning off battleground chat.

Ultimately, I think it comes down to competition. Players are there to beat an active and ever changing opponent. Like PvE encounters, players must utilize strategy and teamwork. Unlike PvE encounters, the players are far less likely to research and employ such practices.

Those that do tend to get frustrated.

I mean, to them, the strategy is obvious. Why aren't those damn noobs doing what they say? Then the capital letters start to fly and all hell breaks loose. The "unskilled" players, however, aren't too inclined to listen to the oh-so-cleverly named noob-caller (frothing at the mouth by this point). So they don't. Which causes the original shift-key cowboy to explode in a sudsy mess (you didn't think that was snow in Alterac Valley, did you?). It's a vicious circle.

To everyone that feels the need to scream at their team mates during battleground matches, let me clue you in on a few things:

• Getting upset is fine but if they're not listening, wait for it.... They're not going to listen. Change your approach. Oh, and don't forget to fight while you're at it. Fight through the froth, pal. Fight through the froth.

• If you want people to listen to you, they need a reason. No, your capslock key is not a reason. Instead, try giving a people a whisper and qualify yourself: "Hey man, you don't know me but I know a good strategy to win this one."

• Your commanding babble is more than it appears, it's *gasp* QQ in disguise. PvP proves QQ is universal.

• No one expects you to change. Really, do what you do best: PWNZR teh nubs!111!!. Remember though, the people that have half a clue on what to do will just shut off the channel or ignore it and go with the flow anyways. Grand total, you get about .27 people to do what you want and it's probably by mistake anyways. Bear this in mind when you repeat yourself over. And over. And over.

• You'll get better results if you treat people the way you'd like to be treated. No, wait. That kindergarten teacher was teh suck. WTF ZERG RH NAOW U n00bSAUUUUUUUCE!!1!

• You were a noob too once. No, you did not pop from the womb covered in slimy bloody purples. Wait...

• Finally, we know you're proud of your pvp prowess. Hell, they should make a "real men of genius" ad about you. Why shouldn't you be proud? However, we ask that you please be aware of that eight foot e-peen protruding from your midsection. When you turn around to yell at the nubcakes at the last objective, you knock over half your team. You know, there sure are a lot of kinds of "nub" food. I smell a couple new additions to the cooking achievement.

All of this leads me to the declaration, January is now e-peen awareness month. Embrace it, BG guy, but keep a leash on the dragon for the benefit of everyone else. Rampant waggling can lead to poked out eyes. Thank god all that bravado is only pixels, otherwise nations around the world might no longer need armies.                                                       

                                                 





Visit the Official Fires of War blog

Tags:

World of Warcraft

Report Post