POST STUFF
|
 by Slapnuts, Level 72
Last updated at December 17, 2009, 3:21 pm
|
|
Scarlett and War Machine? I'm sold...
I know we have this really awesome military, we spend a ton of money on it and everyone expects us to police the world so how is it that we run unencrypted video feed on our predator drones? No really, insurgents are buying $26 off the shelf software and are able to watch our predator drone feeds. These things cost 4.5 million fricken dollars and someone cheaped out video encryption? No thought it might be valuable to protect the feed so no one else can watch so they don't have advanced warning of attacks? Simply priceless...
Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry died today from injuries stemming from a domestic dispute and him falling out of the back of a truck. Henry apparently jumped in the back of truck his fiance was driving somehow thinking that was a wise idea. 911 callers reported him banging on the back of the window and later laying on the ground unconscious. I wonder if she is going to face any charges after this mess.
 |  Chuck is coming back January 10th! In the mean time you can stare at Yvonne Strahovski's bra. |
Domino's, known for ****ty, sub-par pizza, is finally going to change their recipe in hopes of a more appealing product. I haven't eaten Domino since college if I am not mistaken, when you will you will eat about anything to get out of cafeteria food. I welcome the change being a pretty big pizza connoisseur but I still don't know if it will make it in to my regular rotation. I'll definitely give it a try though.
Even the Obama supporters and lefties are coming out against ObamaCare. Sounds like it is time to ****-can this bill when even your staunch supporters can't get behind it. The vote should be close, if it comes to it, but it sounds like the Democrats are getting a bit concerned about pulling for it and the moderates aren't all sold yet either.
Vimeo could be in trouble thanks in part to the famous "lipdubs" that I have linked in the past which they host on their site. EMI has filed a lawsuit against them for full music works being featured in various videos and in staff picks thus removing them from the DMCA's "Safe Harbor" clause which generally protects sites if they knowingly remove content that copyrighted. If I wanted to hear "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger I wouldn't run to Vimeo to hear it. I really wish there was some common sense when it comes to copyright law.
Not only is Stephen Colbert a funny guy, he can bust the rap game as well:
(Canadian link) (international, best i can find, sorry)
How about one more trailer to wrap up the day? Clash of the Titans ftw:
Report Post
118 comments
sikraeli Dec 17, 2009 at 3:29 pm
+0 votes
hey slap they just updated the tf2 blog update is going live today oh god
and by today they probably mean 11:59 pm
and by today they probably mean 11:59 pm
5 replies to sikraeli (hide)
5 replies to sikraeli (show)
Permalink
Post Reply
Reply to this comment
Slapnuts Dec 17, 2009 at 3:32 pm
+1 votes
yup, just read it a bit ago.
Ill get on and check for it all night. Im not going to wait around all day in hopes of them updating it in a timely fashion.
I see the demo probably got screwed, ironically the difference is less than the net gain the soldier got thanks to the propaganda art... =/
Ill get on and check for it all night. Im not going to wait around all day in hopes of them updating it in a timely fashion.
I see the demo probably got screwed, ironically the difference is less than the net gain the soldier got thanks to the propaganda art... =/
sikraeli Dec 17, 2009 at 3:35 pm
+0 votes
valve is going to do something really stupid and give the weapon to both classes or something just watch
either way i only play medic so idc *****!
also those posters that won the only good one was the 2nd place one; first place looked nice but that slogan was gay as ****
either way i only play medic so idc *****!
also those posters that won the only good one was the 2nd place one; first place looked nice but that slogan was gay as ****
Slapnuts Dec 17, 2009 at 3:39 pm
+1 votes
The slogan was retarded but I did like the joke that tied to the demo's smiley crotch. The art was sharp as well.
I play mainly soldier in arena so I supposes it not the end of the world though I demo and sniper more in most other modes.
They may do that but I think it would piss off a lot of people that put in a ton of time one side or another.
And who the hell is running around mass downvoting you? lol
I play mainly soldier in arena so I supposes it not the end of the world though I demo and sniper more in most other modes.
They may do that but I think it would piss off a lot of people that put in a ton of time one side or another.
And who the hell is running around mass downvoting you? lol
sikraeli Dec 17, 2009 at 3:42 pm
+0 votes
i have no clue some nerd, he is persistent though
whats your steam id pm it to me or just add me http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197982355264 (anyone who wants to play sf4/l4d2/tf2 feel free 2 add me...)
whats your steam id pm it to me or just add me http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197982355264 (anyone who wants to play sf4/l4d2/tf2 feel free 2 add me...)
hereticaneue Dec 17, 2009 at 3:40 pm
+1 votes
Haha, on the radio this morning they were complaining about Domino's changing their recipe because they actually really like it the way it is. I almost threw up all over my steering wheel. O_O
I love a girl who can play the piano. And a man who will wear a hoodie under his suit. How the hell is she not laughing? lol.
Ouhhh Clash of the Titans. +1 for the split-second of gorgon in that trailer!
Also at 00:46 - he looks like the guy who played Atreyu in The Neverending Story. Hee.
I love a girl who can play the piano. And a man who will wear a hoodie under his suit. How the hell is she not laughing? lol.
Ouhhh Clash of the Titans. +1 for the split-second of gorgon in that trailer!
Also at 00:46 - he looks like the guy who played Atreyu in The Neverending Story. Hee.
Slapnuts Dec 17, 2009 at 3:42 pm
+3 votes
Dominos is terrible. Its pretty bad when Little Ceasers may be better.
Alicia Keys is gorgeous. I'd take her over Rihanna any day. Something about her just grabs me, I don't know what it is.
Alicia Keys is gorgeous. I'd take her over Rihanna any day. Something about her just grabs me, I don't know what it is.
sikraeli Dec 17, 2009 at 3:44 pm
+1 votes
call me a knuckle dragger but i like dominos pizza; its not good in comparison to any other pizza but its still pizza so i like it
then again i havent really had good pizza before so w/e
then again i havent really had good pizza before so w/e
Slapnuts Dec 17, 2009 at 3:49 pm
+1 votes
Don't get me wrong, pizza to me is much like beer. I'll drink about anything because its one of my favorite foods but Dominos is like the Busch Light of pizza. I've tried pizza from pretty much all over from real Italian style to New York style and Chicago style. I'd a quality pizza first and foremost but if someone picked up Dominos and brought it over for a gathering I wouldn't ***** or anything.
SupaSJGokuu Dec 17, 2009 at 4:20 pm
+1 votes
dominos is better than pizza hut / little caesars, and pretty much on par with papa johns imo. obviously not even close to any decent pizza place, but as far as national chains go it isnt bad
Chucho Dec 17, 2009 at 3:52 pm
+1 votes
Her face has more caucasian features than Rihanna's, and she can sing.
hereticaneue Dec 17, 2009 at 3:54 pm
+1 votes
Chucho said
Her face has more caucasian features than Rihanna's, and she can sing.
But Alicia plays the piano so she wins in my book.
Chucho Dec 17, 2009 at 4:04 pm
+2 votes
Alicia is thicker so she wins in my book.
Proof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp66puh83Pc
Proof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp66puh83Pc
Facemask Dec 17, 2009 at 8:16 pm
+1 votes
Have you seen the Rihanna nudies? I'm just sayin, GOD DAYUM.
notepad.exe Dec 17, 2009 at 7:32 pm
+1 votes
Chucho said
Her face has more caucasian features than Rihanna's, and she can sing.
Facemask Dec 17, 2009 at 8:19 pm
+3 votes
"Hot and Ready" pizzas are the GREATEST. THING. EVER.
edit: Not taste-wise, convenience-wise. ****, you know what I mean.
edit: Not taste-wise, convenience-wise. ****, you know what I mean.
Alexx Dec 17, 2009 at 8:30 pm
+1 votes
rihanna is untalented, no song of hers ive ever heard has made me feel anything but contempt for the fact that shes actually successful from that ****. but beyond that, i do not in any way find her attractive, i could walk down the street and find plenty of women far more attractive than she is.
her nose is 100% gorilla
i just yea, ****, what the dick guys?
her nose is 100% gorilla
i just yea, ****, what the dick guys?
Alexx Dec 17, 2009 at 8:33 pm
+1 votes
its this gen y bull****, MEGAN FOX OMFLWER SHE SO HOT, SO WHAT SHE HAS A MUTILATED THUMB?
RIHANNA OMG UNDERBOOB, TECHNICALLY WE ARE ALL PRIMATES ANYWAY.
RIHANNA OMG UNDERBOOB, TECHNICALLY WE ARE ALL PRIMATES ANYWAY.
Facemask Dec 17, 2009 at 8:48 pm
+1 votes
While I agree because I'm a big proponent of how celebrities in general are overrated when it comes to beauty, with all due respect, you're trippin. I'm willing to bet you haven't ****** with anything half as hot as that girl.
Maybe I'm being biased, but she is fiiiiiiiine.
Maybe I'm being biased, but she is fiiiiiiiine.
Alexx Dec 17, 2009 at 10:00 pm
+1 votes
if you mean megan fox, yea your right, not gonna lie. id do naughty things to her mutilated thumb
but im tellin you man, i dont find rihanna attractive AT ALL. same thing with angelina jolie. beauty is in the eyes of the beholder i guess.
but im tellin you man, i dont find rihanna attractive AT ALL. same thing with angelina jolie. beauty is in the eyes of the beholder i guess.
Wadsworth1 Dec 17, 2009 at 11:11 pm
-1 votes
Keys needs to hit the ******* treadmill. Rihanna is much better.
Slapnuts Dec 17, 2009 at 11:18 pm
+1 votes
Ya mac daddy, cuz she is so big that if she wanted to hook up you would turn her down...
uh huh
uh huh
Wadsworth1 Dec 17, 2009 at 11:20 pm
+1 votes
I would make sure to bring a big bag of flour with me. And also some sandwiches for her afterward or maybe a Dominos pizza.
Wadsworth1 Dec 18, 2009 at 12:40 am
+1 votes
Are those cankles?
I don't know man Rihanna looks pretty damn hot compared to a mild Keys:
I don't know man Rihanna looks pretty damn hot compared to a mild Keys:
AeoltheGrammarChecker Dec 18, 2009 at 2:48 am
+3 votes
One of the big differences is that Rhiana relies on so much makeup to make it happen; Alicia is more of a natural beauty you can safely wake up to.
Slapnuts Dec 18, 2009 at 3:40 am
+1 votes
Ya she looks great dude, nice pick
http://www.schoolofill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/rihanna.jpg
http://www.schoolofill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/rihanna.jpg
Alexx Dec 18, 2009 at 12:46 am
+3 votes
slap, this can only be answered by a poll, next blog IMHO, alicia keys vs rihanna
Vir Dec 17, 2009 at 3:50 pm
+1 votes
insurgents are buying $26 off the shelf software and are able to watch our predator drone feeds.
I love how the media calls this "hacking".
Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry died today
Pretty sad, even OchoCinco was crying. The dumb ***** killed her meal ticket.
I love how the media calls this "hacking".
Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry died today
Pretty sad, even OchoCinco was crying. The dumb ***** killed her meal ticket.
Slapnuts Dec 17, 2009 at 3:56 pm
+1 votes
Right, maybe if they were breaking 64-128bit encryption, but alas, we can't be hassled to think that far ahead on our 4.5 million dollar weapons.
Thats like saying people who buy TV antenna's are hacking their local HD feeds. /facepalm
Thats like saying people who buy TV antenna's are hacking their local HD feeds. /facepalm
Vir Dec 17, 2009 at 4:07 pm
+1 votes
Slapnuts said
Right, maybe if they were breaking 64-128bit encryption, but alas, we can't be hassled to think that far ahead on our 4.5 million dollar weapons.
Thats like saying people who buy TV antenna's are hacking their local HD feeds. /facepalm
Thats like saying people who buy TV antenna's are hacking their local HD feeds. /facepalm
Drone: Would you like to play a game.
Osama: I want to play thermo nuclear war.
Drone: How about a nice game of chess.
Craptor Dec 17, 2009 at 7:00 pm
+1 votes
I teared up watching ocho cincos interview you could tell he was pretty emotionally invested in the guy.
Iori Dec 17, 2009 at 7:59 pm
+1 votes
Vir said
insurgents are buying $26 off the shelf software and are able to watch our predator drone feeds.
I love how the media calls this "hacking".
Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry died today
Pretty sad, even OchoCinco was crying. The dumb ***** killed her meal ticket.
I love how the media calls this "hacking".
Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry died today
Pretty sad, even OchoCinco was crying. The dumb ***** killed her meal ticket.
Chucho Dec 17, 2009 at 3:55 pm
+0 votes
Crazy is an amazing song but Hey ya and BOB>All that ****. ****KKKKKK MORE JAYZ TOO GTFO IM SO MAD.
Colbert is magical.
Colbert is magical.
RobotZombieKitten Dec 17, 2009 at 4:06 pm
+1 votes
That Titans trailer released the Kraken
IN MAH PANTZ
IN MAH PANTZ
SupaSJGokuu Dec 17, 2009 at 4:21 pm
+3 votes
i hate it when football players die because thats all that will be on espn / nfl network for the next 2 weeks.
Vir Dec 17, 2009 at 4:25 pm
+3 votes
If Brett Farve died, ESPN would run coverage 24/7 for two years.
Slapnuts Dec 17, 2009 at 4:32 pm
+1 votes
If Favre died Madden would surely follow as he is stuffed so far up Brett's ass. Its like Dickie V and Coach K. =p
Hogan Dec 17, 2009 at 4:28 pm
-1 votes
Me,h I wouldn't worry about our drones, The Afghans and Iraqis don't have computers. What are they gonna do? hack the video feed with their rocks and sticks?
TBH I never saw what was so great about Ironman... It's just a sub par action flick like the Hulk or Spiderman with a very obvious and dull message that requires no thought. I'll prolly see the 2'nd but I don't expect a Watchmen.
TBH I never saw what was so great about Ironman... It's just a sub par action flick like the Hulk or Spiderman with a very obvious and dull message that requires no thought. I'll prolly see the 2'nd but I don't expect a Watchmen.
Deltons Dec 17, 2009 at 5:28 pm
-1 votes
watchmen was awful. i wanted to turn it off half way through but i paid for it so kept watching. didn't think it was ever gonna end.
Hogan Dec 17, 2009 at 7:00 pm
+1 votes
People who think Watchmen sucks are retarded morons who expected a movie with superhero action but were left disappointed. Watchmen touches on so many important philosophical points which makes it hard to comprehend for people with little intelligence and that's why you got bored and frustrated with it.
I'm sure Ironman2 with hot babes, robots, explosions and a super simple plot will be more in your intellectual league. Enjoy!
I'm sure Ironman2 with hot babes, robots, explosions and a super simple plot will be more in your intellectual league. Enjoy!
Duttonn Dec 17, 2009 at 9:08 pm
+2 votes
Hogan said
People who think Watchmen sucks are retarded morons who expected a movie with superhero action but were left disappointed. Watchmen touches on so many important philosophical points which makes it hard to comprehend for people with little intelligence and that's why you got bored and frustrated with it.
I'm sure Ironman2 with hot babes, robots, explosions and a super simple plot will be more in your intellectual league. Enjoy!
I'm sure Ironman2 with hot babes, robots, explosions and a super simple plot will be more in your intellectual league. Enjoy!
Iron Man was a better movie than Watchmen the movie. The graphical novel is better than both, possibly combined.
Hogan Dec 18, 2009 at 1:36 am
+1 votes
Duttonn said
Watchmen, the graphic novel, did many of the things you claim. However, the movie turned them in to super heroes instead of the vigilantes that all of them (except Dr. Manhattan) were supposed to be.
Iron Man was a better movie than Watchmen the movie. The graphical novel is better than both, possibly combined.
Iron Man was a better movie than Watchmen the movie. The graphical novel is better than both, possibly combined.
But, if you want point out some scenes in the movie that didn't do the graphical novel justice be my guest.
Wadsworth1 Dec 17, 2009 at 11:14 pm
+1 votes
+1 on the Watchmen paragraph. Had a buddy at work that knew nothing about it and watched it and was *****ing about it the next week because it wasn't action packed. He's a big Marvel Comic movie ***. I guess some people never get out of their tween years.
AeoltheGrammarChecker Dec 18, 2009 at 2:43 am
+1 votes
The Watchmen comic touched on those philosophical points and the movie pretty much mutilated and raped them IN ORDER to make the movie more action packed and hollywood-esque. It was good for you because you're ignorant about the masterpiece that Watchmen really is and can't understand how sad it was the way it got butchered. It's funny that you say that it's hard to comprehend for people with little intelligence when what you don't know is that the movie got dumbed down to cater to the masses (you) and make them think it was an amazing movie (it sucked).
Hogan Dec 18, 2009 at 3:29 am
+1 votes
Again, point out the major differences that MUTILATED AND RAPED watchmen? You sound even more bitter than Alan Moore about the movie release. The comic book is better and more philosophical - yes. However, the movie was rightfully portrayed.
If you think otherwise be more specific. I bet you wont.
If you think otherwise be more specific. I bet you wont.
AeoltheGrammarChecker Dec 18, 2009 at 3:43 am
+1 votes
How about we make this easy on both of us and you go borrow the comic from someone\where, give it a read, enjoy one of, if not the most amazing graphic novel ever written (worth anyone's time), and come back and tell me straight up there wasn't a ****ton of blatant butchering in the movie?
If you seriously don't want to do that, I will write you a wall of text about SOME of the **** Zach Snyder pulled.
If you seriously don't want to do that, I will write you a wall of text about SOME of the **** Zach Snyder pulled.
Hogan Dec 18, 2009 at 4:32 pm
+1 votes
I read it. Yes, there are some differances like the at the end the blame gets put on Dr. Manhattan instead of the military project with the squids. That doesnt alter the story much, its the same idea. The fat liberal black guy that interviews Rorschach plays a bigger role in the book but other than that it's not that different. Again, feel free to point out how it was MUTILATED AND RAPED again please. You failed pretty hard the first time, but I'll give you a second attempt. Point out some flaws, I'm all ears!
AeoltheGrammarChecker Dec 19, 2009 at 3:11 am
+1 votes
I haven't failed because I haven't TRIED. I pointed out something that I thought would be obvious to someone that has read it. I'm pretty certain you haven't read it if you seriously don't feel it got RAPED AND MUTILATED. Sounds to me like you just googled differences between book and movie and chose a couple to sound like you did read it. And if you did read it then you just have really bad judgment and I will indeed point out a bunch of horrible flaws.
Note that I haven't read the comic in over 1 year and haven't seen the movie since premiere day so I'm doing this by memory and I'll probably skip a bunch of stuff. And I stand by the fact that something as packed as an Alan Moore graphic novel should have never been made into a movie because there is simply no physical way to visually fit every important element from every panel into a movie (even if you made it 5 hours long, your eyes would simply not be able to keep up with the details anyway)
Music. The music path that Snyder took was an aberration and obviously done with some kind of commercial purpose in mind. The songs aren't bad, they just make no sense whatsoever and ruined the flow of the scenes they played on (except for a couple). If this movie was to be made it should've been properly scored by pros; it would've been a lot better than the unrelated picks he had.
The Black Freighter parallel storyline is by far one of the deepest, most meaningful parts of the book, a micro masterpiece itself. It ties in to so many parts of the main storyline AND it stealthily reveals **** along the way and towards the end. It's one of Moore's signature moves and it wasn't in the movie. And I'm aware there's some kind of DVD special about it for which I could care less, since it wasn't intrinsically tied to the movie.
The gang, the lesbian couple, the watch seller, the newstand dude and the kid; all of these were also tiny parallels that carried tons of significance in the way they tied to the current state of the main storyline as it evolved. Snyder gave the newstand some time but it didn't accomplish ****. Another one of Moore trademarks that he very carefully depicts in order to convey deeper stuff than what it seems at first glance, pretty much ignored in the movie.
The Minutemen take a major backseat in the movie as a group. Some of them get some play because they're core, but a ton of important things are left out from their past (the intro in the movie is cool and all but it doesn't do it any justice at all). Important core elements about what happened to some of them and how they tie to the main story are completely ignored as well completely scraping more and more away from the depth of the story as a whole.
If you read the novel then you know about the in-between chapter mini stories and excerpts that again, give huge insight into different characters and their complexity, and help set the tone as the story goes and as relationships get more and more fleshed out for the reader. None of that in the movie, obviously.
Let's talk Rorschach. AMAZING casting pick for him, nailed the character. But sadly, for being one of the most interesting and hardcore characters in the book, he came out very thin compared to what he is in the book. TONS of backstory missing; his speech pattern change after the burnt girl incident isn't there; the psychiatrist section was withered and watered down to ****, etc, etc. And my biggest specific gripe: He doesn't chop the little girl killer in the head, he actually cuffs him to a pipe, gives him a knife and burns the house down, forcing him to chop his own hand to survive. HUGE change for absolutely no reason which put the nail in the coffin for Rorschach (this event is significant in his character development in a much deeper way than simply finding a burnt/eaten child).
Let's talk action scenes and how Snyder ****** **** up. The whole bone tearing flesh up over and over and the over the top killing blows were one of the most ridiculous parts of the movie jesus christ. It was already bad enough that he made it like that but the cheesiness of the camera and overplayed effects was almost a joke. Definitely not portraying how the fights feel in the novel. The bullet ripping through flesh on the secretary's leg - WHY?! That kind of **** was all over the movie and it was senseless and didn't sync with anything at all. Not even saying that every action sequence was bad, but all those unnecessary details were basically like putting **** flavored icing on really good cake. When Archie shoots the gattling gun in slow motion and you see the cartridges fall? I was honestly covering my eyes at the hollywood poison feel I was getting. That **** wasn't in the comic and it was obvious Snyder made it up for commercial intent. I could go on on this topic forever but whatever.
Characters like Silk Spectre and Dan are supposed to be in a constant struggle with themselves about what they do and how they do it and Snyder makes them look as if ripping bone through flesh is an addiction and they just HAVE to do **** like that to be happy. ******* dumbed down as hell.
Ozymandias was a TERRIBLE casting choice. Not only that, but Snyder made him portray his character as an evil guy pretty much from the beggining when in the book he's actually the most passive and likable guy of them all alongside Dan. Any idiot could infer he was behind everything from the first scene when he's smirking like an idiot all the time and over acting when he's supposed to be nice and cool. Jesus christ.
Maling Akerman is hot, but she was **** for Silk Spectre. Her personality wasn't even CLOSE to being grasped and it ruined the flow for tons of character development including one of the most intensively related to the plot relationships - with Manhattan. She was whiny and stupid instead of determined and arrogant. Not even gonna bother delving deeper into the obvious here.
Dr Manhattan was visually perfect, but completely ****** up character wise. He comes off as arrogant and assholish as if he was human, instead of detached as hell like he's supposed to be. Every time he had a line where he's supposed to show how emotionless he is, I cringed because it conflicted hardcore with the way Snyder portrayed him. ****** up my second favorite character basically and blurred some of the plot.
One of the biggest messages Moore sent all throughout the comic by delving into the "heroes" real lives was to show how weak and fragile they, how human they are. Snyder portrays all of them as if they were godamn invincible Batmans conditioned for Rambo style fights even when they're obviously wayyyy out of their prime. They're not supposed to be an elite force that's way more op than the regular citizen, they're simply well trained people, key word being PEOPLE. You get none of that feeling from the movie which is a HUGE factor in the book.
The whole arc with Dr. Manhattan going back and forth from the past to the present and progressing the main plot with itself was masterfully done and in no way replicable in a movie because it would confuse the hell out of people. But it was artful and precise and therefore butchered when half assed translated to a movie.
It was Rorschach that warns Ozy about a killer in the book, instead of Dan. Rorshach tells Ozy his toys are **** while Dan tells him how awesome they are. I WONDER WHAT MARKETING PLOY WENT ON HERE AT THE EXPENSE OF MORE BUTCHERING.
The prison scene where the fat guy gets his arms cut off pisses me off to no end, since you know, THERE WEREN'T ELECTRIC SAWS INVOLVED IN THE BOOK. Grats more over the top unnecessary violence, Snyder.
If you read the book 2-3 times you realize the godamn genius behind it because every little frame, and every little detail of every little frame, has a connection all across the board. Everything is a subplot, everything is a parallel, everything ties something up with something else later. That's probably one of the best things about the novel. You finish it and you have a feeling of not just how amazing the characters and the story are, but a feeling of subconscious satisfaction of how even the tiniest of things meant something in a very meaningful way. No movie would ever be able to capture that and it therefore butchers it.
Holy **** I just realized how much **** I've written and I could still go on and on and on but it's pointless and sad how half of what I said would be enough reasons to call it a butchering, yet there's tons more.
Did I fail pretty hard?
Nah
Just go back to the only argument you could possibly have - "well the movie by itself was pretty good who cares about the comic" which is fine by me if your taste is bad. Either way, it is no opinion that the comic did in fact get butchered.
Note that I haven't read the comic in over 1 year and haven't seen the movie since premiere day so I'm doing this by memory and I'll probably skip a bunch of stuff. And I stand by the fact that something as packed as an Alan Moore graphic novel should have never been made into a movie because there is simply no physical way to visually fit every important element from every panel into a movie (even if you made it 5 hours long, your eyes would simply not be able to keep up with the details anyway)
Music. The music path that Snyder took was an aberration and obviously done with some kind of commercial purpose in mind. The songs aren't bad, they just make no sense whatsoever and ruined the flow of the scenes they played on (except for a couple). If this movie was to be made it should've been properly scored by pros; it would've been a lot better than the unrelated picks he had.
The Black Freighter parallel storyline is by far one of the deepest, most meaningful parts of the book, a micro masterpiece itself. It ties in to so many parts of the main storyline AND it stealthily reveals **** along the way and towards the end. It's one of Moore's signature moves and it wasn't in the movie. And I'm aware there's some kind of DVD special about it for which I could care less, since it wasn't intrinsically tied to the movie.
The gang, the lesbian couple, the watch seller, the newstand dude and the kid; all of these were also tiny parallels that carried tons of significance in the way they tied to the current state of the main storyline as it evolved. Snyder gave the newstand some time but it didn't accomplish ****. Another one of Moore trademarks that he very carefully depicts in order to convey deeper stuff than what it seems at first glance, pretty much ignored in the movie.
The Minutemen take a major backseat in the movie as a group. Some of them get some play because they're core, but a ton of important things are left out from their past (the intro in the movie is cool and all but it doesn't do it any justice at all). Important core elements about what happened to some of them and how they tie to the main story are completely ignored as well completely scraping more and more away from the depth of the story as a whole.
If you read the novel then you know about the in-between chapter mini stories and excerpts that again, give huge insight into different characters and their complexity, and help set the tone as the story goes and as relationships get more and more fleshed out for the reader. None of that in the movie, obviously.
Let's talk Rorschach. AMAZING casting pick for him, nailed the character. But sadly, for being one of the most interesting and hardcore characters in the book, he came out very thin compared to what he is in the book. TONS of backstory missing; his speech pattern change after the burnt girl incident isn't there; the psychiatrist section was withered and watered down to ****, etc, etc. And my biggest specific gripe: He doesn't chop the little girl killer in the head, he actually cuffs him to a pipe, gives him a knife and burns the house down, forcing him to chop his own hand to survive. HUGE change for absolutely no reason which put the nail in the coffin for Rorschach (this event is significant in his character development in a much deeper way than simply finding a burnt/eaten child).
Let's talk action scenes and how Snyder ****** **** up. The whole bone tearing flesh up over and over and the over the top killing blows were one of the most ridiculous parts of the movie jesus christ. It was already bad enough that he made it like that but the cheesiness of the camera and overplayed effects was almost a joke. Definitely not portraying how the fights feel in the novel. The bullet ripping through flesh on the secretary's leg - WHY?! That kind of **** was all over the movie and it was senseless and didn't sync with anything at all. Not even saying that every action sequence was bad, but all those unnecessary details were basically like putting **** flavored icing on really good cake. When Archie shoots the gattling gun in slow motion and you see the cartridges fall? I was honestly covering my eyes at the hollywood poison feel I was getting. That **** wasn't in the comic and it was obvious Snyder made it up for commercial intent. I could go on on this topic forever but whatever.
Characters like Silk Spectre and Dan are supposed to be in a constant struggle with themselves about what they do and how they do it and Snyder makes them look as if ripping bone through flesh is an addiction and they just HAVE to do **** like that to be happy. ******* dumbed down as hell.
Ozymandias was a TERRIBLE casting choice. Not only that, but Snyder made him portray his character as an evil guy pretty much from the beggining when in the book he's actually the most passive and likable guy of them all alongside Dan. Any idiot could infer he was behind everything from the first scene when he's smirking like an idiot all the time and over acting when he's supposed to be nice and cool. Jesus christ.
Maling Akerman is hot, but she was **** for Silk Spectre. Her personality wasn't even CLOSE to being grasped and it ruined the flow for tons of character development including one of the most intensively related to the plot relationships - with Manhattan. She was whiny and stupid instead of determined and arrogant. Not even gonna bother delving deeper into the obvious here.
Dr Manhattan was visually perfect, but completely ****** up character wise. He comes off as arrogant and assholish as if he was human, instead of detached as hell like he's supposed to be. Every time he had a line where he's supposed to show how emotionless he is, I cringed because it conflicted hardcore with the way Snyder portrayed him. ****** up my second favorite character basically and blurred some of the plot.
One of the biggest messages Moore sent all throughout the comic by delving into the "heroes" real lives was to show how weak and fragile they, how human they are. Snyder portrays all of them as if they were godamn invincible Batmans conditioned for Rambo style fights even when they're obviously wayyyy out of their prime. They're not supposed to be an elite force that's way more op than the regular citizen, they're simply well trained people, key word being PEOPLE. You get none of that feeling from the movie which is a HUGE factor in the book.
The whole arc with Dr. Manhattan going back and forth from the past to the present and progressing the main plot with itself was masterfully done and in no way replicable in a movie because it would confuse the hell out of people. But it was artful and precise and therefore butchered when half assed translated to a movie.
It was Rorschach that warns Ozy about a killer in the book, instead of Dan. Rorshach tells Ozy his toys are **** while Dan tells him how awesome they are. I WONDER WHAT MARKETING PLOY WENT ON HERE AT THE EXPENSE OF MORE BUTCHERING.
The prison scene where the fat guy gets his arms cut off pisses me off to no end, since you know, THERE WEREN'T ELECTRIC SAWS INVOLVED IN THE BOOK. Grats more over the top unnecessary violence, Snyder.
If you read the book 2-3 times you realize the godamn genius behind it because every little frame, and every little detail of every little frame, has a connection all across the board. Everything is a subplot, everything is a parallel, everything ties something up with something else later. That's probably one of the best things about the novel. You finish it and you have a feeling of not just how amazing the characters and the story are, but a feeling of subconscious satisfaction of how even the tiniest of things meant something in a very meaningful way. No movie would ever be able to capture that and it therefore butchers it.
Holy **** I just realized how much **** I've written and I could still go on and on and on but it's pointless and sad how half of what I said would be enough reasons to call it a butchering, yet there's tons more.
Did I fail pretty hard?
Nah
Just go back to the only argument you could possibly have - "well the movie by itself was pretty good who cares about the comic" which is fine by me if your taste is bad. Either way, it is no opinion that the comic did in fact get butchered.
Slapnuts Dec 19, 2009 at 3:24 am
+1 votes
This is an amazing post and could be a blog itself. +1
While I agree almost totally with all your points and them some I guess I have kind of stayed out of this debate because we as moviegoers seem to have such a lower tolerance for mediocrity, especially fans of comic-to-movie translations.
While all your points are valid on a whole, in comparison to most hollywood ****, let alone comic adaptions it is better than most of it. But that doesn't mean it comes close to rivaling the source material in which I learn and catch something new every single time I read through my Absolute Edition ( a must for any fan btw, especially the additional readings).
When compared to fellow movies its solid. Better than most other comic movies out there. Compared to the source material it is a joke. I guess I have accepted differentiating the two and look at them each in their own light.
While I agree almost totally with all your points and them some I guess I have kind of stayed out of this debate because we as moviegoers seem to have such a lower tolerance for mediocrity, especially fans of comic-to-movie translations.
While all your points are valid on a whole, in comparison to most hollywood ****, let alone comic adaptions it is better than most of it. But that doesn't mean it comes close to rivaling the source material in which I learn and catch something new every single time I read through my Absolute Edition ( a must for any fan btw, especially the additional readings).
When compared to fellow movies its solid. Better than most other comic movies out there. Compared to the source material it is a joke. I guess I have accepted differentiating the two and look at them each in their own light.
AeoltheGrammarChecker Dec 19, 2009 at 3:33 am
+1 votes
Your last paragraph pretty much.
But Hogan's claim was, and I quote: "the movie was rightfully portrayed". And it clearly wasn't. As a standalone it suddenly gains a lot of points, sure. But the argument here is the portrayal straight up, which definitely didn't happen, and would never happen because it simply, physically can't be rightfully portrayed in a movie.
Take Sin City for example. THAT is rightful portrayal to the bone. If I tried to write a wall of text of how Zack butchered the comic I would run dry after one sentence.
PS. you're right, I should've blogged about it, stale as the argument may be. I honestly didn't realize how much was wrong with the "portrayal" until I started laying it down on the screen.
But Hogan's claim was, and I quote: "the movie was rightfully portrayed". And it clearly wasn't. As a standalone it suddenly gains a lot of points, sure. But the argument here is the portrayal straight up, which definitely didn't happen, and would never happen because it simply, physically can't be rightfully portrayed in a movie.
Take Sin City for example. THAT is rightful portrayal to the bone. If I tried to write a wall of text of how Zack butchered the comic I would run dry after one sentence.
PS. you're right, I should've blogged about it, stale as the argument may be. I honestly didn't realize how much was wrong with the "portrayal" until I started laying it down on the screen.
Slapnuts Dec 19, 2009 at 3:39 am
+1 votes
Miller and Rodriguez you mean =p
Yes, Sin City was almost a shot-for-shot rendition of the comic. They took some liberties interweaving various stories but it is easily the most faithful comic adaption ever.
But I'd have to agree with you, Watchmen wasn't rightfully portrayed. It didn't disappoint me by any means, well, minus the ending even though I knew about the reveal in advance. Could he have made it a better movie? There were definitely some things he could have changed in the time allotted to improve things but a lot of things required probably another hour two.
Or like I always wanted, and HBO 12 part mini-series.
Yes, Sin City was almost a shot-for-shot rendition of the comic. They took some liberties interweaving various stories but it is easily the most faithful comic adaption ever.
But I'd have to agree with you, Watchmen wasn't rightfully portrayed. It didn't disappoint me by any means, well, minus the ending even though I knew about the reveal in advance. Could he have made it a better movie? There were definitely some things he could have changed in the time allotted to improve things but a lot of things required probably another hour two.
Or like I always wanted, and HBO 12 part mini-series.
AeoltheGrammarChecker Dec 19, 2009 at 4:18 am
+1 votes
YEAH RODRIGUEZ
After typing that much crap about Snyder at this time of the night that's what somehow came out
After typing that much crap about Snyder at this time of the night that's what somehow came out
butterland Dec 17, 2009 at 9:21 pm
+1 votes
Deltons said
watchmen was awful. i wanted to turn it off half way through but i paid for it so kept watching. didn't think it was ever gonna end.
bilingue Dec 18, 2009 at 2:44 am
+1 votes
butterland said
If you've paid for a movie and its crap, stop watching it... You've already lost your money, don't also lose your time!
Wadsworth1 Dec 17, 2009 at 11:17 pm
+1 votes
Ironman could have been greatness, but the villain was terrible, not even memorable. I actually loved the first Spiderman, I can't say much about the sequels except I never paid money to see them thank god. The Hulk and its sequel or remake or whatever the **** it was failed miserably.
Hogan Dec 18, 2009 at 1:33 am
+1 votes
Wadsworth1 said
Ironman could have been greatness, but the villain was terrible, not even memorable. I actually loved the first Spiderman, I can't say much about the sequels except I never paid money to see them thank god. The Hulk and its sequel or remake or whatever the **** it was failed miserably.
Opet Dec 18, 2009 at 6:27 pm
+1 votes
The watchmen movie was, on the scale of films of existing properties, so close to the original source material I think complaining about it being too different is a bit odd o.o
Hogan Dec 19, 2009 at 2:49 am
+1 votes
It's weird how some of the criticizing it got was that it was TO LOYAL to the book and Zack Snyder didn't go beyond it...
AeoltheGrammarChecker Dec 19, 2009 at 3:13 am
+1 votes
Are you insane???? Read my post a few posts above you.
Wadsworth1 Dec 18, 2009 at 11:09 pm
+1 votes
Oh **** man, lol. I was a huge Punisher fan when I was a young chap. Had almost every issue. The movies are god awful.
GameRiot's source for gaming news on the PC, console and portable front. Home of the Epic Drop!
217 Subscribers
52 Likes: 35 August 25, 2010, 5:02 am135 Likes: 30 August 15, 2010, 2:42 am34 Likes: 30 July 23, 2010, 5:22 am86 Likes: 29 July 10, 2010, 4:58 am73 Likes: 39 June 24, 2010, 3:09 am5 Likes: 10 June 12, 2010, 7:10 am110 Likes: 35 June 9, 2010, 12:32 am63 Likes: 27 June 1, 2010, 10:19 pm40 Likes: 30 May 21, 2010, 4:49 am116 Likes: 30 May 13, 2010, 10:57 pmStarted December 20, 2007
2163 Total Entries
2163 Total Entries
Your Comment is being posted. Please wait...