Prepare to get laid asswhipes - Homemade tattoos

In my never ending quest to make you gamer ultra **** more badass I'm now passing on the wisdom of how to make homemade tattoos. Following the workout instructions in my last blog I'm now going to show you how to cover those new bulky broad shoulders and muscly biceps with body art. Because if there's anything that turns the e-****** heads as you walk by it's a sculpted body covered in ****ty looking Japaense phrases and tribal art.

Here's a list of the things you need to steal errr I mean buy:

-Some black india ink. You can find it at your local total crafts or buy it from the internet. Just get a jar the size of a golf ball with a big enough opening to stick 2 fingers in it (oh baby).

-Then get yourself a set of thread needles. Like the regular kind you use to sow clothes. Make sure the needles are in various sizes of thickness. You need like a dozen or so of them.

-Then get yourself some normal white thread like you use for sowing clothes.

-Buy a lighter or some kind of antiseptic liquid like you'd find in a first aid kit to sanitize the needles.

-You should also pick up a permanent black marker like a sharpie if you don't have some at home.

-Then grab some napkins or tissues to soak up the excess ink (and lots of blood...).

That's all you need. Shouldn't cost more than $10. Pretty cheap for making permanent tatoos. You also might want to pick up some cheap but strong booze if you're a *****.

Now here's what you want to do. First wash your hands and sanatize the needle with either a lighter or antiseptic liquid. Then wrap the white thread in a tight ball around the very tip of the needle. You should make a small ball of thread around the tip of the needle a little bit smaller than a pea. What size needle you choose if up to you. All my friends and I used huge ones that hurt like a *****. I recommend a medium sized one. You cover a larger area per stab which requires less skin penetrations.

Then dip the needle with the thread ball on it into the india ink. Then just stab away at your friend. Pretty simple. You want to push the needle deep into the skin which will inject the ink from the soaked thread ball into the wound. Then wipe away the excess ink and blood with the napkins and keep going.

Before you start you also want to draw the tattoo design on your friend with the sharpie marker and simply play follow the lines. Pick whatever design you want. I got "crazy white boy" in Japanese tatooed on the back of my right shoulder blade. Atleast I think that's what it means.

My friend and I agreed upon the design and then went about looking up how to spell it in our textbooks while we were taking our first year of Japaense when we were 15. So it might not be all that accurate. In fact it probably says something like "noodle times chickens" but oh well. It's the thought that counts.

Just remember that this HURTS like hell. If the idea of someone stabbing a needle into your back right now hundreds of times doesn't make you happy then don't do this. I also take zero responsibility for you getting aids. DON'T EVER USE THE SAME NEEDLE MORE THAN ONCE OR ON TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

And if you're wondering if I regret getting these homemade tattoos I don't. I can always get them covered up by larger professional tattoos if I wanted and in fact that's what I'm planning to do. I've always liked my tattoos and I haven't once regretted getting them because I think they look good and they remind me of my friends who have since moved off to other parts of the country to go to college. And they're ******* hilarious.

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