Why MMO Players Shouldn't Reproduce

A friend of mine wrote this article (and runs the site: http://www.stopreproducing.com/ ), and I thought this might be a fitting place to put it as it's pretty ******* hilarious and holds some truth to it.

MMORPG ADDICTS

 

In the event that you are a socially adjusted member of the general population that has never had the privilege of becoming a Level 42 Warlock leading a guild on a vision quest to the Shlomi Caves in order to attain the Elixir of Suffering while simultaneously attacking left over General Tso’s at 11 PM on a Saturday in your parents’ basement on your 34^th birthday, let us clarify that MMORPG stands for Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game. The most popular of the genre, World of Warcraft, has a following of over 11.5 million subscribers! Unlike regular video games, MMORPGs do not… ever… stop. Gamers who cease game play to participate in real life (i.e. sleeping, dating, face-to-face contacting) sacrifice precious opportunities to battle orks and gain virtual wealth, power and influence… in front of a computer screen… sitting in a chair!

 

MMORPGs provide an escape from reality. People who have trouble holding a steady job can climb the ranks from troll to guild master in the online fantasy world with a little dedication. Repulsive, socially awkward 40 year old virgins can consummate cyber-weddings with some creative double-clicking of the mouse. The MMORPG system rewards dedication to a virtual environment while promoting decay of a person’s life in the real world.

 

After a few years as intense gamer junkies, participants discover deteriorated health, decreased confidence in regular social settings, and dimmer career prospects. This does not bode well for their reproductive chances. In the event that MMORPG Addicts retrain their atrophied muscles, succeed in seeking out a mate, figure out how to procreate, and possess a high-enough sperm count to fertilize an egg, the descendants of these misfits have the odds stacked against them. They will be practically born into a virtua-land themselves; finding that the best way to connect with their parents is to get attached to the machine as well, feeding the addictive personalities they inherited.

 

MMORPG Addicts consume energy, food, and space while offering minimal returns to the society that supports them, but damn… they can really lead a guild and slay a one-eyed monster. Until these transfixed drones unplug, it’s best for the real world that they keep their own one-eyed monsters in their pants.

 

The rest of the articles can be found at: (Believe me they are all good)
http://www.stopreproducing.com/