Top 5 reasons we love Top 5 lists

This site loves top 5 lists. Loves them. Loves them like college coffee drinkers love to think their "unique" opinion matters. It's natural for us to be drawn to topics about what's best because we all have opinions. And that, friends, is the very essence of communication. But in the spirit of the discussion of the pinnacle of discourse it would only seem right to honor these lists with a list about that very love we have for them in the fashion they deserve. So I've created a list of the top 5 reasons we love top 5 lists.


5) THEY'RE RIGHT

Nothing says "Suck it, *****," like the opinion of some random writer agreeing with your take on anything that you can show to a friend while you laugh at him. He's wrong, you're right and thus the hip thrusting suck it. Since this is Gameriot I'll use games as an example. Halo 3 was touted as the coming of a new age of the greatness of games. Truth be told it wasn't that good, the story was still average and the gameplay hadn't changed since the first Halo. Watching Yahtzee's Zero Punctuation take on this game validated the opinion that I was right, 13 year old fanboys were wrong and thus I was great. Then I went to the coffee shop and drank coffee to discuss my unique opinion about the game.

The truth is we love lists because they agree with us and make is feel like there are like-minded people in this world who don't live head-up-***** (in our opinion, though disagreeing with me means you DO live head-up-ass).

4) THEY'RE SHORT

They are. No one likes writing essays and you can be damn sure no one likes reading one.

3) YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING IN TO

Reading blogs is like being drunk. There's a gamble to the love affair you might engage in when you click the random blog labeled "1/11 Universal Empathy, Blizzard and Priests, Arenas" and nothing sucks more than coming out of the opposite side of the blog feeling woozy, a little sick, embarrassed and without clothes. The shame of your friends calling you the next day asking "Did you SERIOUSLY read that blog?" coupled with going to the doctor to get checked for any special gifts is never an easy pill to swallow.

2) ---------------------------------

You try to sit down and create 5 reasons you love top 5 lists! There's a delicious irony in that it's hard as hell to do. As with most things I do in life this was tackled with impromptu and I really only had reasons #5 and #1 in my head. And like most things in my life I ended up short. GET IT?

CHEERS FOR LOWBROW HUMOR?!

1) THEY ARE WRONG

There's a little college coffee drinker in all of us. Everyone values their own opinion above anyone else's and thus there's an inherent desire to absolutely crush any arguments about anything that we don't agree with. The original Super Mario Brothers beating out Ocarina of Time for the greatest game of all time has sparked more heated debate than party politics. Ocarina of Time was better, I might add. Flaming is the ultimate in desirable reading for the average internet tough guy, and thus a completely WRONG opinion on any subject deserves massive hatred and teeth gnashing. Threats over the internet are how real men fight.

GTA 4 was NOT the best game of the year, Halo 3 DID suck, Arena class XYZ IS overpowered, random Blizzard mechanic IS balanced, my opinion is the only correct one!

Toss that into the stew and let it cook. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING makes people feel better than completely and often times violently raging about the incorrectness of something all from the comfort of their home chair. Not going to get punched in the face today! Teh intrawebs r my protectar lol!

So here's to the opinionated coffee drinking we all engage in!



Cheers! Have a great Sunday.