Retarded/Broken Arena Specs and How to Fix Them

How many times have you nerd raged harder than Swarm after getting Wotlk’d in 2v3/3v3 by some retards spamming unhealable damage with no strat? Or that resto druid sitting in tree form in plain sight of your dps and not going down in health at all with an infinite mana bar? How many times have you kicked your cat when that feral druid killed you through spammed heals? I’m no Zilea but sometimes I just wonder why I still pay for this piece of **** Arena when the Developers and GC are leading the way down the autism casuals road.

So how the **** do we fix broken specs like feral, ret and resto druid?

Resto Druids

Blizzard’s approach:

Developers: GC, we have a problem. Resto Druids sucked in s5 and aren’t the kings of healing anymore, what do we do?

GC: Maek dem sit in tree form and roll hots on everyone with plate armor.

Developers: GC, that doesn’t make any sense. Plate armor on trees?

GC: STFU you scrub I’m the lead designer.

GC: oh btw if they ever oom just make innervate give like a billion mana back and be undispellable with barkskin, DRUIDS NEED HELP WITH MANA. Also, I love Sean Connery’s accent.

Developers:……

My approach: Replace Tree Form with Shaman Form: transforms the druid into a shaman, decreasing all healing by 50%, removing all spirit and mp5, reducing armor by 100% and giving all HoT spells a 3 second cast time. Also grants the ability to use Mana Tide, which kills itself instantly after being used. How do you like that now you facerolling dip****?


Feral Druids

Blizzard’s approach: ugh, ok, let’s see here. ADD MORE DAMAGE, brb need to swim in my dollar bill filled swimming pool.

My approach: Remove cat form. Have fun dpsing in bear you mother******.


Ret Paladins

Blizzard’s approach: DAMAGE, Exorcism usable on peopl- **** my hot pocket is burning. Also, let’s make freedom remove stuns because ret paladins are really hard to play and need some more utility, the BURST ISN’T ENOUGH.

My approach: Remove Crusader Strike, Divine Storm and Hammer. Have fun waiting for seals to proc just like Retail you piece of **** LOLRET.


Frost DKs

Blizzard’s approach: k um Unholy is no longer stupidly OP, so let’s buff Frost just for the hell of it. Also let’s add this really good Sigil for PvE without thinking about PvP consequences.

My approach: Replace the Frost Strike sigil with Sigil of Chains of Ice: gives Chains of Ice a 10 second cooldown. That’s right, wearing this Sigil actually apparently actually is a bad idea.

Destro Locks

Blizzard’s approach:

Developers: GC, Affliction is no longer OP and fear sucks, how do we make Warlocks not quit the game?

GC: Give destro moar damage on everything. You can do SOMETHING without me having to guide you all the way can’t you? My ******* Hummer is getting towed I gtg.

My approach: New Destro 51 talent point - Cleaveland Steamer: anytime you have 2 melee classes attacking you, you automatically gain the Steam buff which increases movement speed by 500%. New Unstable Affliction dispel effect - when a player dispels Unstable Affliction they take 50,000 damage and get silenced for 10 seconds. New Metamorphosis change - Metamorphosis is now permanent, and also allows the Warlock to equip dual Warglaives.

Resto Shamans

Blizzard’s approach:

GC: Ok resto shamans are good at utility and have a lot of glaring weaknesses but it’s ok cause of the utility.

Developers: but GC, Ret paladins also have close to best utility in the game and ALSO do good burst. Ins’t that a contradiction?

GC: A contrawhat? You goddamn idiot.

My approach: Grounding totem and Earth Shield have switched Icons. Have fun telling when either is up you inbred frog******.

Arms Warriors

Blizzard’s approach: ok Arms really sucks right now, so let’s give warriors moar damage and allow them to charge anytime they want to cause good mobility and good damage isn't too strong or anything.

My approach: Remove Charge, Intercept and Intervene. Increase all warrior damage by 100%. Maybe then Warriors won't cheer with glee next time they see the Warlock Icon show up on Gladius.

 

I’ll probably add more specs later, not sure if I got everything. Thanks for reading once again.

 

Edit: Made some changes.