POST STUFF
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 by kavekk, Level 42
Last updated at July 5, 2009, 11:51 pm
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While I languished in my cell, I found a new way to connect to the wonderful world of mines - the game known as minesweeper. I could search for mines or, if I was in a destrictive mood, detonate mines, fromthe comfort of an arm chair. After my time was up, I saw a few n00bs playing minesweeper and I realised just how good I had become. After a month of intensive training, I was already among the top minesweepers in the world. I signed up for one of the many prestigious minesweeper tournaments shortly thereafter and scored a scorching second place. But, as they say, second place is just first to lose, right?
My thirst for success had been piqued, and I would not been sated until I had taken this world of virtual mines by virtual storm. Every night I practiced for hours, honing my mind and body to physical perfection. I gained pound after pound in finger muscle, until my hands were as ripped as the latest Wolverine film. In one particularly hectic practice session, I felt a presen. I heard the sound of exploding mines, as if from a great distance. I sat entranced for I don't know how long. When I finally came to, I resumed playing, obeying my overwhelming compulsion to do so. Like a demented, bisected spider, my hands danced along my keyboard. Between my fingertips I wove life and death, destruction and diffusion. I became my own God.
The next tournament was an easy win. I left my opponent utterly defeated, humiliated, a hollowed out shell of a man unable to do anything but suffer - and even that he could not do well enough. I heard from his parents a few months later - they said he hanged himself. He had begun a game of minesweeper, but there was only one number on the grid. The timer was locked at 999. I laughed, laughed to know that I had brought a man to that. But I digress - this blog is not about the thrill of domination that comes from competitive esport stardom, but rather the beautiful game itself and my considerable success playing it.
Suffice to say that I did not have a single loss for the rest of the year. It was a haze of victory, sex and LSD. The perks of being the best minesweeper in the world are many. People bowed to me in the street, girls threw themselves at me and shopkeepers gave me everything for free. I can't tell you exactly how many women I fixed during the period because the number isn't even ******* computable. Good times, good times.
But, like all good things, it had to come to an end....
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kavekk Jul 6, 2009 at 12:24 am
+1 votes
I like how you edited it from "is this trying to be funny" to this. I'm glad I'm worth agonising over how best to insult - it's touching, really.
CntCmE Jul 6, 2009 at 12:29 am
+1 votes
some kids answer rhetorical questions, risk was too high - also it was 'are you trying to be funny' l2grammar
kavekk Jul 6, 2009 at 12:34 am
+1 votes
So are you like the spiritual successor to BTY? That's cool, we don't get the whole kid insult here much anymore.
And yeah, I was quoting you from memory. You're a pretty harsh critic, man. I guess I should expect to be grilled by the press now I'm a successful author, but damn.
And yeah, I was quoting you from memory. You're a pretty harsh critic, man. I guess I should expect to be grilled by the press now I'm a successful author, but damn.
BeddaDenToes Jul 6, 2009 at 1:19 am
+1 votes
http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/3023/mineswept.jpg
For those not interested in pics, 11 sec. Beginner, 78 seconds intermediate, 56 seconds expert. Not bad for learning the game and playing for all of 1 day.
For those not interested in pics, 11 sec. Beginner, 78 seconds intermediate, 56 seconds expert. Not bad for learning the game and playing for all of 1 day.
BeddaDenToes Jul 6, 2009 at 2:51 am
+1 votes
I'd say lol Vista, and I'm not confident in my knowledge and the support of Linux. XP is what I know, what I can fix, and what I can push harder. I've been building the nerve to wipe and restart with W7 or one of the Linux distros but I dont have the time to **** with things should they go wrong.
Mikevercetti Jul 6, 2009 at 4:10 am
+1 votes
Nothing wrong with XP, just dicking around :P.
I personally just hate the look of XP compared to Vista. Aesthetically, it's Vista is leaps and bounds better.
I personally just hate the look of XP compared to Vista. Aesthetically, it's Vista is leaps and bounds better.
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