Talking with the Gorefiend Greats

A Question of Server Pride

Since the introduction of cross-realm battlegrounds and the Battlegroup organization system, the emphasis on individual servers has become outmoded. In the old days, communities of capable guilds defined their servers; Nurfed with their roaming PvP videos, for example, or the sheer amount of notorious players on the original servers. Widespread server transfers further diluted these concentrated pockets of infamy, and now, years later, what are we left with? Accomplishments in raiding lend a certain prestige to a realm, but let's face it: the true celebrities since the release of TBC have been the arena all-stars.

Recently, a Death Knight with the unlikely name of Otterpoop--a guildmate of mine--was featured on WoW Insider. The point of the interview must have completely gone over my head; apparently Death Knights did well in Season 5, and some of them are still doing well in Season 6. I'm glad they had to interview one random Death Knight to get this point across. Don't get me wrong, I know the guy; he's a good player, but this ham-handed article left a bad taste in my mouth. I mean, seriously, "Otter than Hell"? "You Otter Know Better"? Get the **** out of here. I have been rubbing elbows with (and riding the coat tails of) eminent Gorefiend players for years now, and in the following interviews I will attempt to deduce what makes these individuals tick, what separates them from the herd, and what gives them the right to the coveted title of 'server celebrity'.

For my first interview, to represent Gorefiend Horde, I went with long-time friends Terrorz and Ehto, a couple that have been together since Season 2. They've achieved an impressive three-time Gladiator in both 2v2 and 3v3, and topped the enviable SK-Gaming Top 100 List during their peak in Season 3. Currently, they're running a Druid/Warrior composition in 2v2 with a rating of 2512. As an old acquaintance I was afforded the privilege of meeting the duo face-to-face at Terrorz's beach house in Malibu. It's an impressive stucco structure reminiscent of Tijuana with its red shingled roof and the vague, omnipresent smell of burritos. The two had just finished a long day of arena and I met them on the patio for Coronas in the waning California sun.

Marnacleez: Thanks for taking the time to speak with me, you two. I know how busy you've been with the start of the new season and everything.

Terrorz: No problem, brah. Me casa es su casa. Me and my girl were just grilling up some steaks and chilling out. I was going to shred some waves but I guess that can wait til tomorrow.

Marnacleez: So you're still an avid surfer, then? How do you find time to raid Ulduar, play competitive arena, maintain a healthy relationship with Ehto while still ripping up the swells?

Terrorz: It's about discipline. That's the secret for a lot of arena players. Most of us celebrities aren't just pale WoW virgins, you know? Most of us have jobs and girlfriends and go to school. It's all about time management.

Ehto: Not that we've been out to dinner in, what, three weeks? I mean, we played Arena on our anniversary, which I guess was fun... for you...

An awkward moment of silence passed among us and I decided to steer the interview away from the personal.

Marnacleez: Terrorz, what is the hardest part about playing Arena with Ehto?

Terrorz: Sometimes she won't play up to my standards, which is understandable. Letting me die or clipping her cyclone. I'm just like, why are you going to waste time? Throwing the game like that. She just doesn't say anything because she knows she ****** up.

Ehto: I need a drink. Do you boys need drinks? I'm going to get some more drinks.

Donny: A 2 point game, dude, are you kidding me? ****, did you see that?

Marnacleez: What was that?

Terrorz: Oh, don't worry about that. That's my boy Donny. He's inside watching the Lakers game and he gets pretty heated.

Marnacleez: So, there are a lot of romantic couples that manage to flourish in the Arena as 2v2 partners. There's Shaunconnery and Shannarah, Glickz and Hafu, Rhaegyn and Hafu, Zyz and Hafu, Serennia and Serennia, you and Ehto. Does drama ever get in the way of your performance?

Ehto: I met Terrorz at the beginning of the Burning Crusade. He was, like, the top orc and everyone was always talking about him on the forums. We started playing in Season 2 and we've been together ever since. There hasn't really been any drama.

Terrorz: More like I pulled you out of the gutter and trained you to play Resto. You should have seen Ehto back then, she was absolutely horrendous. As for our relationship, I make sure we keep that on the backburner when Arena is at stake.

Ehto: Tell me about it.

Terrorz: Look, if you want to date some 1600-scrub like Marnacleez over here you're more than welcome to. I play arena real and I don't play to lose.

Marnacleez: So you guys haven't had any of the problems attributed to many celebrity couples in this game? No rumors or anything?

Terrorz: No. I mean, like what, Hafu? Those rumors about her are whatever. I talked to Zyz about that the other day when he randomly stopped by vent. He comes around once in a while to ask me for advice, so I tried to get the real story out of him. You could tell he still has feelings for her. I've got my own girl, though, so it's whatever.

Marnacleez: Anything on the horizon you're looking forward to, as far as game balance goes?

Terrorz: The Warrior nerfs are coming, but I'm not worried at all. Juggernaut is overpowered as hell and the Rapid Charge glyph is way overdone. A lot of people are going to go with Glyph of Hamstring instead but I think Glyph of Sweeping Strikes would **** on people. As for Druids, well, at 70 Innervate was sick, but it's not quite there anymore--the spirit change or whatever--but a full innervate will be pretty cool. It's a lot harder to dispell innervate with barkskin up, and the buff be a huge help against Rogue/Priest.

Ehto: Recently I switched my spec up a bit to include Brambles and I'm still adjusting. I wasn't sure about it but Terrorz was pretty insistent.

Terrorz: No ****. Look at Nestea over on the European servers. What an animal. If you played more like him we'd have a real rating instead of this 2500 bull****.

Marnacleez: I understand you're currently playing Druid/Warrior/Shaman in 3v3. How's that going for you guys?

Terrorz: It's alright. We just started and it's working pretty good, except our Shaman, Mokigarim, he's kind of new to arena. I don't want to call him a complete retard because sometimes he actually gets a spell off before he dies, I guess, but whatever. Warrior/Ret Pally/Druid is something I'd be into. I mean, it's such a garbage ******* faceroll comp, but Druids are so powerful, and then BoP and freedom. The damage between a Warrior and a Ret Pally is just nuts. It'd be fun, so I'm thinking of giving it a try.

Ehto: Oh, I don't know. I like playing double healer warrior. We used to play with Cadul, remember hun?

Terrorz: Yeah, I remember. I remember that Cadul quit because you were always *****ing and throwing tantrums. You just can't handle healing by yourself, that's why you won't play double melee.

Marnacleez: What do you think will be the premiere 3v3 comp this season?

Terrorz: RMP, if they can pull it off. RMP is always good and they adapt to each season, and Priest/Rogue synergy is just ridiculous right now. They'll always be one of the strongest comps.

Donny: Why the **** would they put Kobe on the bench?

Marnacleez: On a closing note, are there any changes you'd like to see implemented?

Terrorz: The drink buff will be interesting to see. They need to put the fixed Flawless Victor in, ****. I'd have it last week. They said they were going to put it in real and never did anything about it. It was all tainted last season because of how the rating worked, but who knows what they'll do with that ****. They should also change this bull**** with people buying and selling first-tier Arena weapons.

Marnacleez: What do you mean by that?

Terrorz: People buy first-tier arena weapons, use them for two hours, sell them, buy them back, etc. It works for DKs especially because they can just go get a free enchant. It's bull**** because then they have all their points as soon as they can get the second-tier weapon.

Marnacleez: No doubt that's a hot topic of discussion right now. I appreciate your time, guys, it's always a pleasure to interview you.

Terrorz: Cool, brah, but can you honestly hit the road? We've been chatting like *****es for almost the entire Lakers game and I'm going inside now. You can let yourself out.

Ehto: I'm so, so lonely.

It seems that World of Warcraft is a hard place to be in a love, and I was sorry to leave them like that. The look in Ehto's eyes just broke my heart. I've known the pair for a while and I'm confident they'll bounce back from the rough patch. Maybe once they hit 2600. I made my way to my second appointment of the day in the food court of the Modesto Mall. Here I was scheduled to meet Jeheira and Priestzor, a 2v2 Rogue/Priest team that represented Gorefiend Alliance. Jeheira has hit Gladiator four times on his Rogue and three times on Normand, his Paladin, an unprecedented feat on our humble server. Their 2v2 team is currently sitting pretty at 2518, and Jeheira also plays on "Working as Intended", the Battlegroup's highest 5v5 team currently rated 2221.

Jeheira: Ey, ey Cleez! Over here, bro.

I quickly made my way over to his table and began talking over some of Auntie Anne's fine hot pretzels. I questioned him at once about the absence of his partner.

Jeheira: Mason--that's Priestzor's name, Mason--is over at the Bath & Bodyworks. I can't bring him to the mall anymore, I swear. I have to leave my credit cards at home with this ******* guy and his obsession with body lotion and duvet covers and ****.

Marnacleez: Well, we can start without him. It's probably better, actually; it gives me the opportunity to start with a hard one. What do you think the hardest thing about playing with Priestzor is? I mean, you guys have made it far but it's clear that Priest/Rogue is wildly successful this season. What are the drawbacks?

Jeheira: Priestzor's biggest problem? He gets cocky. I maintain that, like, even if you're at 90% mana, if you get a chance to drink, then drink. He thinks he doesn't need to and that ***** us over sometime. My Druid, Mike/Ez, I trained him to drink obsessively. Priestzor is still sort of new to this. Basically, I think he's not offensive-minded enough, that's his only weak point. He's worried about healing too much and he wants to drag the games out, and it feels like I'm playing with a ******* Druid instead of a Priest, you know? Those games aren't supposed to last that long.

Marnacleez: And his qualities?

Jeheira: His activity is excellent, his contribution to me as a person whether it be time or gold is excellent. His dispells are really quick, that's one thing I'll give him.

Marnacleez: Out of all the healing classes, which do you think are the most versatile this season?

Jeheira: I feel like of all the healers, at 70 a good Druid was more noticeable than all the healers, and now a good Priest sticks out, mostly because of how good the classes are during their peaks. I think Shaman are insane now, too. Look at Kollektiv; he's always been good, but it looks like he's going to make some big things happen this season.

Marnacleez: What do you think about upcoming changes?

Jeheira: Warrior changes are good. As for the water change, I don't know, **** that. That's going to make druids even more gay. I'm not mad, because I'll probably benefit from it at some point, but it seems like a poor decision from a game balance perspective.

Marnacleez: What do you mean, benefit at some point?

Jeheira: Well, I play Druid/Rogue with my boy Mike, he plays Ez. I know he is going to come back eventually and the current setup is kind of temporary. Oh, ****, here comes Mason. Look, don't mention anything about Mike, okay? He gets weird.

I turned to see a fairly normal looking fellow approaching with a markedly effeminate walk, a sashay in his step, and about six bags filled with body creams, shoes, shiny silk shirts and the entire Paul Mitchell line of haircare products. He gave us a fabulous wave and sat down uncomfortably close to Jeheira, who he gazed at with nothing short of complete and utter adoration.

Priestzor: Hey boys! You started with out me! Naughty, naughty. What has this big brute been saying about me, I wonder?

Jeheira: Oh, uh, heheh, nothing, man. Just talking about arena, you know. The interview thing.

Priestzor: Well, don't stop on account of little old me! Let's get started. Oooh, hot pretzels. I'm gonna steal a nibble.

Marnacleez: Priestzor, let me get your input on some questions. What are the highs and lows of playing with Jeheira in the arena? He was honest, so don't hold back.

Priestzor: Playing with Joe, on and off the arena court, is a great experience. It's the most excited I get about playing Arena, and the most fun I have. I get really focused because he gives 100% and I try to keep up. No matter what gay **** happens I don't let him go down. I keep him up. The bad? Maybe it's me, maybe it's not, but when he dies--whether it's my fault or not--is the worst feeling. It's letting my hero down, you know?

Marnacleez: I see. So it's more of a mentor/protege relationship?

Priestzor: I'd say it's a little more than that, but that works too.

Marnacleez: So what's your favorite perk of being a server celebrity, Mason?

Priestzor: The girls, definitely. Being there for the ladies has something to do with my celebrity status on the server, the interaction you have with Gorefiend's player-base, you know? It's not about getting the rating, it's about what you do once you're a top-rated Arena Master. It's not about the here nor there, it's about how you treat the people around you once you're at the top.

Marnacleez: The girls? You? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were--uh, go on.

Jeheira: I can vouch for him. The kid pulls some serious online tail.

Priestzor: You wouldn't believe. I mean, the average number of girls that I get to finger themselves for me on webcam every week? I've seen is probably close to 30 girls shirtless at least, total. The past week alone, since we hit 2500, the number's grown quite a bit. They don't call me Mason "the Line" Dixon for nothing.

Marnacleez: That's more than a little bit creepy. Let's get back on track, though. Jeheira, can I get your thoughts on class balance?

Jeheira: I'm all for nerfing my own class if it's going to restore balance. When my rogue got nerfed I was fine with it, when my paladin got nerfed I was fine with it. I'm all for balancing the game and I try not to whine about class changes.

Marnacleez: How about the 2v2 comps that will take it all this season?

Jeheira: The comps that are going to define this season when it's all said and done? DK/Druid in 2s. Especially when they buff drinking. It'll be the best, I'm pretty sure. I think that in 3v3 it will probably be a double melee team. As sad as it is to say, Druids will overtake Priests, mostly because of double melee comps.

Priestzor: Don't forget Priest/Rogue, you silly goose.

Marnacleez: What's on the horizon for you guys?

Priestzor: I'm going to play with Joe for as long as I can. I'm gonna milk him for all he's worth. Til he's dry as a bone.

Jeheira: I feel like I'm doing good on my Rogue, but I want to get back into my Paladin in the near future. I'm trying to find a good Warrior to do 2s with on my Paladin. I just want one sick Warrior. I've been looking on the AJ recruitment forums and every PM I get is from like some warrior who wants me to transfer to them, and **** that. I'd play with a DK too, if I could find one. It's just that playing Pally/Warrior is just the gayest. There's nothing more frustrating than playing with a bad warrior. You have full freedom, full cleanses and you can't get something below 80%? On the last tournament realm, I was recruited to play with Serennia for ****'s sake. It didn't pan out, but you know, I want to maintain that level of quality.

Marnacleez: Thanks for your honesty, guys. Any closing thoughts?

Priestzor: Right now I'm thinking how long I'm going to have to run to work off that hot pretzel.

Jeheira: I'd say it's all about consistency. It's about never giving up and never getting intimidated. I've been known to queue into a counter to try and find a way to beat it. I don't believe in quitting just so I don't lose my 'precious points', I don't want to have to dodge this team for the rest of my life. Some people rage and queue out of anger and frustration but I keep my head clear and strategize.

I thanked them cordially for their time and made my way out of there; I had to catch the red-eye back to New York and I didn't want to spend any more time here than I had to. Every time I take a trip to California, whether personal or professional, the experience is always surreal. The atmosphere is heady and decadent, intoxicating. The plane ride home was like being woken from a dream that bordered on nightmare. Here were two pairs of players from my server, two dynamic duos that had risen to the top--they were so different and yet there was a similar thread that bound them together. An alpha male and his adoring servant in both situations, one making decisions and one happy to have those decisions made for them. It made me think about two people playing together as a team, about the strains Arena celebrity status places on relationships, and most of all about the look in Priestzor's eyes that will haunt me for the rest of my life.