lvl 1 n00b?

No, in fact age 25 old school gamer.



I used to train to be on par with that kid from "The Wizard". You know, that movie starring Wonder Yearling Fred Savage,  Jack Nicholson poseur Christian Slater, and the cute red head Jenny Lewis (who now sings in Rilo Kiley and was also a collaborater with gold record certified outfit The Postal Service [PS, she's only gotten cuter... sigh...])? What's that? You've never heard of it? I hope you realize, Ramby, of a team I won't call out specifically but can be characterized as not imperfect and precipitating heavily. I hope you and your contemporaries in eSport athletics get a chance to view it at least once, just to know how eSports started: 8-bit. But seriously, he couldn't even properly ID a power glove. Seanbaby is rolling in his grave. Oh wait, that's right, yeah, he's not dead... but my interest in his columns is flat-lining.



Oh yeah, "The Wizard" or what's fondly refered to as the 90 minute commercial for the Power Glove and Super Mario Bros 3. I'll try to refrain from praising the success of that effort but after the subsequent release of the movie, Super Mario Bros 3 was the game to own (not pwn, back then, the movement was to justify Ebonics as an acceptible form of grammar) and sales numbers (mark me down for 2 pgloves and 1 copy of mario 3) and birthday party invitations can attest to that. What do birthday party invites have to do with it? Simple, if you have a cool new game, people will want to be your friend. And hot girls will want to be impregnated by you. One of those statements is false.



The Nintendo competitions then ensued shortly after. None of which I was allowed to attend. Thanks, mom and dad. Could you steal all of my He-Man and GI Joe action figures and donate them to Goodwill too? You already did a decade ago? Brilliant.