China fakes more documents, Buffy the Church Slayer, an honest politician, bicycle citations to increase revenue-err safety

Chinese gymnastics coach: If you don't trust China and our fake documents, who are you going to believe? A country with freedom of the press?

IOC: Good enough for us - case closed

As a follow up to my previous post on the IOC official investigations, the results have come out negative. The Chinese gymnast coach is outraged at the "baseless" allegations. According to her, official Chinese documents, that were mysteriously censored from the internet, reporting He's true age are baseless.

"China has again given the governing body of gymnastics documents that show its athletes are eligible, and coach Lu Shanzhen said the girls' families are "indignant" that the issue won't go away."

Well, I guess we sure are lucky that China gave the documents to the IOC again. We weren't sure the first time, but now that we got them a second time, we are one hundred percent reassured that the government isn't covering up her age. This writer just wants to know whether we should be more disappointed in China or the IOC's joke of an investigation. Are they seriously using proof from the accused to ascertain their innocence? Especially when said proof being fake was the entire controversy?



Buffy the Church Slayer responsible for reducing Church membership

""Because of its focus on female empowerment, young women are attracted by Wicca, popularised by the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

"Young women tend to express egalitarian values and dislike the traditionalism and hierarchies they imagine are integral to the church."

 

 

Who thinks this is really a surprise? Honestly, though, let's not blame Buffy here. You've got a Church that is living over 1000 years in the past here. If the Catholic Church wasn't around, who else would try to stop science and equality? Let's just start with their outdated position on premarital sex. Aside from not keeping up with the times, it has not been until 1994 that females were even allowed to become priests in the Church of England, says the article. And the Catholic Church still refuses priesthood to females. With so many Churches refusing to allow women a role in the hierarchy, it is not surprising that they have turned elsewhere for guidance.

Not to mention the Catholic Church successfully blocked stem cell research for quite a bit of time, despite the stem cells 100% unlikely to ever become life. It was the "principles" behind it. Think they've moved on since they killed Galileo's brother a few centuries ago? Think again. Added to their list of blunders is their hatred of equality, as one only has to look around them to see the Catholic Church condemning homosexuals with the Old Testament, only to turn around and say that they don't have to stone sinners because of the New Covenant. It's time to grow up, Catholicism. Buffy isn't the reason your numbers are falling, women have been exposed to this thing called civil rights and you're about 50 years behind.

In other news, John Edwards is the world's first honest politician. In the nonsatirical section, we have something cooler:

Fewer drivers means decreased revenue, but not when we can fine cyclists.

With the decrease in safety on the streets, Chicago police are extremely worried. You see, with oil prices increasing, more people have taken to riding bikes rather than cars. And as we know, it is much more likely to die in a bike than a car, so the police has decided to start issuing citations for bikers breaking the rules.

"This year, four Chicago cyclists have died in bike-car collisions."

That's right, folks, FOUR Chicago cyclists. The numbers are astounding, and personally, I'd do anything to lower the number of casualties to something similar to that of cars. Or maybe I would just stop lying: We're fining cyclists because reduced cars gives us less revenue. Nah... honesty and cops in the same sentence? Ridiculous!