Dearest readers, those who know me well realize the low estate in which I hold WoW's "Don't Stand in the @#$!! Fire" Dragon nerd community.  It's not that they spend days mastering simple tasks for which full length walkthroughs exist, or that they require endless weeks of practice to defeat unchanging AI written by bored devs.  I mean, we're different but in the end we're the same, right? After all, PVE and PVP are equally challenging, just different. For example, we PVPers (like myself, a FURI…  More

It seems a lifetime ago that I *cough* earned the glorious title of VENGEFUL DUELIST ROMA VICTOR.  Seasons came and went, an xpac was released and a paladin finally won a 3v3 tournament after six seasons of abject futility.  So it was with great pleasure to discover that the casual hokage is now forevermore FURIOUS DUELIST ROMA VICTOR.

A Moment Of Thanks
The list of people to whom I owe a debt of gratitude for this stupendous achievement is too long to list.  Nevertheless a few must be mentioned:<…  More

There are those indelible moments in each of our lifetimes that will never be forgotten.  Whether it be a first kiss, the birth of a child or the first day of freshman year, they are etched onto our souls forever, woven into the very skein of our lives.  And then there are our shared events, reflecting the times and struggles of a whole generation, such as the moon landing or the fall of the Berlin Wall.  I think I speak for millions across the world today by stating that Zilea's victory at Bliz…  More

Yesterday WoW arena players were greeted with two rather large pronouncements by GCHitler:
1) Arena season 6 is due to end in two weeks on August 25; and
2) The paladin prot/holy spec is going to be given the recent lolret treatment.

Before I talk (and QQ) about #2, I just want to take a minute to reflect on how much fun I had in S6.  For me, this was my most successful season ever and not coincidentally the most fun.  It's too bad it's finally concluding but like all good things it must come to an…  More

Dearest readers, my casual brethren, it's hard to type right now.  For after six fruitless seasons I have at last basked in the glory that is my rightful due as the casual hokage.  Of what do I speak in such breathless staccato? Let me spell it out for you:

S H O U L D E R S

Yes, you read that right, brothers.

HOLY F***ING SH**, ROMA GOT SHOULDERS.



Before I pass out drunk on both success and The Ketel One, let me explain how this unexpected wonder came to pass.  It is a tale best told over a shamele…  More

It appears that GCHitler may have gotten a strongly worded letter from the freshman intern that is running Blizzard's Sales, Marketing and Finance departments.  GCHitler, while not rescinding the elimination of the 2v2 arena bracket, has decided to throw the casuals he despises so much a bone: they can still earn current season gear, just not weapons and shoulders.  Oh, and they can't get titles.  GCHitler sent his lackey, Joseph "Bornakk" Goebbels to make the recent announcement:

After further c…  More

It's no secret that the more players you add to any PVP encounter, the more skillful it becomes. That's why the 40 v 40 Alliance Valley will always be the paragon of PVP skill in WoW as opposed to the laughably imbalanced 2 v Druid and RMCleave brackets.  Nevertheless, there is a sweet spot where top notch skill coincides with a reasonably large number of players and that is none other than the most popular arena bracket, 5 v 5.  As a bona fide Top 200 5's player on Nightfail (globally recognize…  More

Long time readers are well aware of my disdain of Player vs. Script (PVE).  Unfortunately, GCHitler in his infinite wisdom saw fit to offer rated PVP set pieces in a PVE encounter, namely the Vault of Tears (Archavon).  You have to ask yourself as a newly dinged 80 in greens what's easier: hitting 1800 or /roll 1 100?  These are tough questions that demand answers.  Unfortunately though I am a VENGEFUL DUELIST with pro bona fides I too find myself in this pit of competitive sorrow trying to save myself the arena/honor grind.  And so our story begins...…  More

As the casual hokage, sometimes my powers of clairvoyance are beyond prescient as yesterday's post proved.  Ghostcrawler has earned at a stroke the dubious honor of Worst MMO Game Designer In Human Recorded History.  By removing 2v2 arena -- the most casual and thus popular bracket -- he has essentially killed arena viability for the rest of the brackets as well, even if he doesn't realize it yet.  It's clear to me that Blizzard does not have a sales and marketing department because no way in hell a lowlife IT assclown would be allowed to do something this financially stupid.  Let me elaborate:…  More

With nearly two full arena seasons under his ample belt, it's time to compare Ghostcrawler's performance as lead PVP balance designer with that of his illustrious predecessor, the inimitable demigod Lord Kalgan, May His Light Endure Forever.  Loyal readers know that my love/hate/worship/venerate/idolize relationship with Lord Kalgan stretches all the way back to S2.  It seems like a lifetime ago that my holy pally was nerfed into the dirt for Kalgan's new love interest, a resto druid, a torrid, indecent affair that would continue for the rest of the Burning Crusade.  Have I forgotten the days of lolret? No.  Have I forgiven? Yes.  But enough of that, let's compare the performance of these two e-titans of arena PVP balance.…  More