8 MILE 2v2 Comp : Welcome To Detroit

One of the biggest complaints flooding the WoW fora is the massive, unhealable burst of WotLK arena.  What is a casual paladin to do when 950 resilience means you die in the duration of a bladestorm or death coil?  Fortunately, the casual hokage has the answer : PROT BEATZ.  Let me explain the fine art of tanking in PVP using talents meant for the "DONT' STAND IN THE @#$!! FIRE" crowd of PVE dragonslayer heroes.  Why all caps?  BECAUSE YOU NEED TO STAND TALL AND TAKE THAT WOTLK DAMAGE LIKE A MAN!  PROT BEATZ isn't for the faint of heart, dear readers - you must play, and think, like a Detro' thug if you want to succeed with this most demanding of specs.

So what is PROT BEATZ?
Rather than regale you with a litany of pro tips for the spec, I thought it might be best if I simply allow a chance interview to speak for itself.  I was recently dueling a girl (warrior) in cold, misty Silverpine forest.  After annihilating her over and over, the following conversation took place.


A PROT BEATZ pally is confronted after facerolling a warrior repeatedly.

Warrior tells you : You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your belf skin is pale white and ice cold. And sometimes you speak like you're from a different time, like a 38 year old man.
Warrior tells you : You never eat or drink anything in arena.  You don't go out of line of sight.  Warrior tells you : What's your rank?
RV: Duelist.
Warrior tells you : How long have you been a Duelist?
Me : A while...
Warrior tells you : I know what you are.
Me : Say it... out loud.
Warrior says : PROT BEATZ.
Me : Are you afraid?
Warrior says : No, you won't hurt me in a real arena with a healer.
Me : Then you should ask yourself the most basic question - what do we beat?
Warrior shrugs.
Me : Lolmelee.
Warrior cries.

Choosing A Partner
Finding a partner is the hardest part of the spec.  No one takes you seriously.  Fortunately I was able to convince my old resto druid partner Gotime to carry me up to 1800 so I could get more skilled, er, geared.  We went 33-0 and in fact our only losses since then were to the #8 team on the battlegroup, a 2500+ dpsc priest/frost mage team.  It's a solid comp but it's boring at times, like when it took 36 mins to bag a double glad resto druid/rogue team.  So Gotime moved on and I was back to square one.  Finding a partner on my backwoods server is like trying to find a job in Michigan : not happening.

Then one day while strolling through the Dalaran sewers I saw this scrappy pally in full Hateful sporting a Rival title.  He was clocking suckers left and right in duels. I checked his spec : PROT LOVE.  I asked him where he was from : outside Detro'.  I asked him what he did for a living : unemployed. Damn, I thought, this guy is a legit thug.   Better do a quick interview to be sure.

RV : Hey, you interested in running the 8 MILE comp with me in 2's?
Lyni : Sure, brah.
RV : Do you keybind, use macros, focus frames, etc...?
Lyni : Nah, I just point and click, same as I do with my 9mm.
RV : Sold! Let's thug it up.

A Glimpse Into 8 MILE : Welcome To Detro'
The 8 MILE comp is relatively simple but incredibly fun to play.  It revolves around all of the things that make WotLK arena the best PVP experience ever:
- nigh unkillable, infinite mana raid boss of a healer
- massive, unhealable burst
- unavoidable, long duration, short cooldown chain cc's

What you will need to play it properly:
- Vent
- Eminem's "Lose Yourself" played at an incredibly loud volume on loop
- Copious amounts of alcohol (I prefer Ketel One naturally)
- An unregistered handgun to keep near your mouse at all times

Generally speaking, 8 MILE hard counters and is hard countered like no other comp I've ever played.  You literally know the instant the gates open if you're going to win or lose.  For example, if you hear that "whoosh whoosh whoosh" sound of a beacon lolholy pally, free points are yours for the thugging.  However, if you see dpsc priest/frost mage or ele/destro you may as well leave.  Regardless, against the hordes of healer + melee teams you will generally pursue the following meticulous strat:

1- Open on enemy healer, get 5 stack of SoV up, start Divine Plea.
2- Call out on vent "START IT UP!"
3- PROT LOVE pally does HoJ #1 onto enemy healer.
4- PROT BEATZ pally dumps entire damage rotation into stunned healer.
5 - PROT LOVE pally does Avenger's shield #1 onto healer.
6 - PROT BEATZ pally's dps cd's come back up, HoJ #2 onto enemy healer.
7 - About now, enemy healer trinkets/bubbles or they're dead.
8 - PROT BEATZ pally blasts enemy healer with Avenger's Shield #2.
9 - PROT LOVE pally hopefully gets a few well timed RNG Seal of Mace Stun procs.
10 (Optional) - Use Arcane Torrent in case the healer is somehow still alive and thinks they're going to hardcast heal.

About 1/3 of the time you will global a lolholy pally before they can bubble, especially if they've never experienced an 8 MILE thugging before.  Assuming they lived and trinketed/bubbled, you will repeat the exact sequence above 30 seconds later.  Only this time, make sure to call "Angels" over vent so that you both pop wings.  Usually the healer will die at #8 or even earlier.  If they're PVE heroes they generally won't even live that long.


Angels High - It Don't Mean A Thing Without The Wings

The sequence above also works against resto shaman (make sure to kill grounding first) who will often die without being able to use NS.  In addition, it's fantastic against resto druids who -- without fail -- will come into melee range, without hots up, to try and get a pro cyclone off.  However, disc priests are much harder to kill. Well, until you start fighting the > 2k ones (e.g. dpsc/feral), who basically think they're dps heroes and don't bother to heal.  The bottom line to 8 MILE is out-thinking and out executing your opponent.  You have to remember : they have to get lucky every 30 seconds, you only have to get lucky once.

Is 8 MILE Right For You?
Because I am an e-journalist of the highest integrity, I would be remiss if I didn't spell out the pros and cons of the spec for my loyal readers.

Pros:
- Easiest spec/comp to get your T1 weapons and Duelist title in 2v2.
- You won't die in a global like lolret or lolholy.
- It's really cool watching melee proccing your reflectives and then dropping them inside of a HoJ.  Rogues attacking you sound exactly like throwing a handful of gravel onto a corrugated tin roof as all your reflectives start banging and clanging.
- You can use the spec to tank all the worthless "DON'T STAND IN THE @#$!!! FIRE" PVE content you need to gear up properly.
- Like lolret, you double as a battleground superhero.
- Girls love a strong, virile man (playing a female belf) who can protect them.

Cons:
- Lord Kalgan, May His Eternal Face Shine Forever, will never allow a paladin PVP dps spec to be viable.  This comp will only work in S7.
- Be prepared to get /spit on or /golfclapped when you win, esp. against 2k+ teams. A lot.  Remember though, this is WotLK, so it's pure skill if you kill people in a few globals while they're not in control of their character.
- You will need to run a lot of worthless PVE heroics to gear up (this could be a pro if you hate the honor grind more than PVE).
- You will have a hard time finding a partner because no one < 2k rating thinks the spec works.

In conclusion, I can say without a doubt that 8 MILE is the most skilled comp I have ever played.  Just remember : in Detro' you never get mugged at gunpoint, instead you just get shot and your corpse looted.  Get thugged, haters. 

 
The 8 MILE comp theme song - play it loud and often

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