**** sucks, Blizzard blows, and I own.

Hey everyone! It's BTY and I haven't slept in four days. Why? Because I'm convinced that sleep is part of a communist infiltration plot. But that's neither here nor there, I want to talk about Blizzard and how they suck, so if you have something better to do than read some guys rambling about how awesome he is and how bad the biggest gaming production company is (Because it's cool to hate the big guy) you should probably go do that something.

While I don't play Crackcraft anymore (Quit years ago to get pro at RL and stuff) I haven't been hearing **** about how much **** it has become. Seriously, like, six months for a major content patch? When **** has been cleared three ******* days after the game came out? You have to be kidding me. This, and all of the stupid changes they made to talents (Oh my god, they made an incredibly easy game even easier! I didn't think it couldso be done) and encounters (what the **** is Naxx anymore?).

It's ****. **** on top of ****, (in a tub of **** made out of ****.) and even PVP, which up until Wrath was one of the only remotely challenging things left. Now you don't even have to win consistently to progress through ratings! All the pros are incredibly pissed about the direction the game is going. The best rogue in the world (Xut, of course) quit after Wrath's release. I quit after we one-shotted Illidan pre-nerf. Many others have quit because, quite frankly, the game's a ******* suckfest of suck.

It's just not challenging anymore. Does a game have to be challenging to be fun? Let us examine this. Tetris? Still played. Guitar Hero? Played immensely. StarCraft? We all know it's popularity.

Kirby’s Dream Land. Still play it? How about Spyro or Time Splitters? Or Lego Starwars? No? It's because all these games can be beat by a blind retarded monkey with one hand.

People still play the older Zelda games. They still play Mortal Kombat. They still play ******* original Super Smash. Why? Because even after all these years they pose a challenge for gamers and people who just want to waste some time.

WoW? Where the **** is that going? It's just becoming a walkthrough. An expensive, timely, detour-filled walkthrough of a game. You don't barely have to do more than press a button or two once every ******* 10 seconds and you'll be able to be just about as good as that guy who has been playing since release.

And you don't think people are ******* pissed? They are. Anyone who is smart enough to be pissed is pissed. The pros are pissed. I'm ******* pissed and I don't even play the game. Why aren't you pissed? Because you're a ******* consumerist ***** with no life, no soul, and no ******* brain. You just do what the media tells you to do, and you're too blind to see what's really going on. Think the Africans just became slaves? No. They were weaned into it. Eventually, they woke up one day, and saw they were sucking on a big blue glowing **** that had "Blizzard" tattooed on it. Saying yes to WoW is saying yes to slavery. I'll tell you why.

I talked to Hafu the other day and our exchange kinda went like this.

Hafu: Hi babe
Me: Who is this?
Hafu: Uhm Hafu
Me: Oh right. Still doing that WoW thing?
Hafu: Right
Me: How's that working out for you?
Hafu: Good
Me: That's good, I'm glad it's working out for you and everything. Good luck!
Hafu: Well.. it's not all that good...
Me: Hmm? Something wrong? BTY is here baby.
Hafu: It's just... well...
Hafu: It's ******* killing me.
Me: It can't be that bad.
Hafu: It is. Blizzard is ******* everyone over, and they are too idiotic to realize it. I'm killing myself here just because at this point I made such a large commitment to the game that I can't bring myself to let it go.
Me: It's all right... I'm sure a lot of people feel that way.
Hafu: I know that and that's the problem. People today are just feeding tons of cash into the Blizzard machine. And what are they doing? Just enough to keep them happy. It'd be fine to see a declining membership... but servers are actually becoming more populated.. really, who'd be stupid enough to pick up such a retarded game?
Me: You could always quit you know. Pick up another hobby... you're still pretty much a kid.
Hafu: Oh god I want to, you don't even know.
Me: I guess I don't, I am very manly and not easily susceptible to corporate influences. I do what I want, babe.
Hafu: Say that again.
Me: Babe?
Hafu: That's it... ohh.
Me: Okay... well like I was saying, maybe pick up something else? Like an instrument?
Hafu: But it's so hard! The games actually addicting... I get shakes...
Me: Don't worry, I'll be here for you! the whole way through. I'll be your WoW for you! You don't need it anymore!
Hafu: Will you really do that for me?
Me: Of course I would!
Hafu: Oh, BTY, play me BTY! Play me!
Me: Oh Hafu....

As you can tell (Other than my incredibly smoothness of smooth) that I'm really smooth, and that WoW is really actually, addicting. Anything that we put a decent amount of time into is. And this is where the problem lies. Is it bad getting attached to something we put a lot of time into? No it's not, not at all. It's natural, and it's supposed to happen. We raise children and through the years, we get attached. It stops us from eating the game when it takes our car for a joyride and runs into the town hall, causing thousands of dollars of damage, and raising our insurance. It's what makes us human.

But where the real problem comes from... is when that drug starts sucking. Imagine I sold you a bunch of coke. The good ****. And something happens: what usually happens when you try coke: you want to try it again. But this time I sell you ****ty Mc**** coke. This **** is ****, but you don't know that it's ****. This games not so much **** yet that you notice it's ****, you're just breaking it up and snorting it. And you might think something's wrong, that you're not getting the same buzz, but ****, you're just a kid and you don't know better, so you think it's just that time, so you go looking for that high. You start ganking Alliance scrubs, but I nerf that too. So you start PVPing hard core, but I nerf that too. You're barely getting buzzed at this point, but you can still raid! It's better than nothing! And anyway, you're hooked. You're stuck on this game. So you keep buying from me, and I keep giving you ****.

Eventually you just end up chasing the dragon, to the point where you're so out of it you're eating your own shoes and drinking battery acid, just to see what would happen.

Then it hits you. That mother****** is cutting his **** with ****. Now you're ******* pissed. But what the **** are you going to do? You can't stop playing. You're way too into it now, you gotta get that gear man. You gotta get that DK. You need those achievement points. Why do you need them? No one knows, but everyone's doing it. It's the cool thing to do.

And it gets worse. Lets imagine that coke wasn't really that bad but still really addicting. Now since coke doesn't do ****, I'm telling you, hey ****o, try this **** out that I call StarCrap2! It'll blow you away man! Now this **** has become a gateway drug. You think SC2 is going to be a good time? **** no. That ****'s twice as addicting and three times as ****ty. Before you know it you're going to be giving slimy businessmen *******s under a Newark bridge just to get a taste. Just to get a ******* taste of the SC2 that costs ******* $80 for each standalone game just so you can play the campaign. But what are you going to do? You're ******* addicted. There's no ******* way out now.

Kids, WoW is dangerous. So do what I did. And just say no. Say no to WoW, but if you really need something to do in all the extra time you're going to have, do what I do, massive amounts of drugs. All day everyday.

Just don't take that hit of Warcrack. Believe me... it's just not worth it.