Mean Avatars - The Pinnacle of WoW Elitism

by Jasi, Level 63

Last updated at May 13, 2009, 3:29 am

Tonight I'll be taking a slightly different approach to writing an article. This is mostly due to the fact that I have two finals tomorrow that I need to continue studying for, but also just to freshen things up a bit. Hope you enjoy.

This game has weird ******* players. Hands down, I don't think I've ever played any game - or MMORPG for that matter since they usually harbor more weirdos - in which so many unique nerds have focused and vented their social frustrations via trying to create an elite status for themselves in game. Thankfully, you can maintain a semblance of normality due to anonymity, but all hell breaks loose if you slip up in your hermit practices along your way to skewed moral victory at the top of the arena ladders. Be it that you've purposely - or otherwise - managed to express your undying fetish for cats, sleep around at LAN events, have your face plastered on every photoshopped picture, or plain and simple, are the most disgusting human being on the planet, you belong in some dark corner of this game, and the fact that you've been exposed to the masses only makes it better for everyone - except if you're one of the aforementioned people who is exposed.

Not all is lost, however, as usually you can find some sort of support group in-game that can help you regain some of your pride via ****ting all over other players.

Look at the "Tich Crew" for example, a highly exclusive social circle of the game's most distinguished PvPers - from Inactive to Spoh, this prestigious group goes as far back as when arena was merely a fresh idea jotted down on a piece of toilet paper while a developer was taking a ****. Its tendency of down-playing everyone else as "non-factors" and favorite past time of critiquing virtual status has spawned its more commonly known name - "Mean Avatars."

I'm sure you can remember the number of players that have gone in and out of this elite BG9 crew, but apparently they've changed their standards recently. Normally the line at the door goes far around the corner, but now it seems that they're practically begging for people to show up in general.

About a month ago, Zilea clawed his way over the group's iron-clad barrier, successfully completing a series of initiation rites - one of which involved striking a number of poses found in this month's Hello Kitty magazine. When I asked Affix how they went from having Sck to Zilea, he assured me that his presence was not unlike that of the weird kid's among the athletes and cheerleaders that found the prospect of having someone around to eat worms upon request too entertaining.

Spoh, however, isn't amused. He contacted me earlier today, saying, "The dude is just ridiculously creepy. When I heard him play 5's with Douja, he would constantly pull on his cat's tail to make it meow. At this point. I'd rather have Serennia - at least with him, you know it's lettuce in between his yellow teeth, not fur."

Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, Hafu - perhaps the famous of the group - has quit the game. I'm not nearly as disappointed as I thought I would be. Once upon a time, her antics were entertaining, and the mystery that surrounded her as an underage girl on the brink of sexual emergence was a source of both intrigue and occasional titillation for every gross **** that was around during her prime. Now, however, she's of age and has clearly been dethroned by the fresh pre-pubescent tease of Shannarah, the recently interviewed teammate of Shaunconnery.

In response to Hafu quitting, Mortale had quite a bit to say:

"After she broke up with Glick, she wandered from turbo nerd to turbo nerd like a lost puppy caught in the rain. A number of us gladly "took her in", but eventually, the puppy lost its cuteness and gained the stench of a rancid slut with far too much baggage,"

I really couldn't agree more. Now that a new girl is here to fulfill the needs of our asian-fetish basement dwellers, her pictures are about as provoking as leather faced Nancy Pelosi.

In my next installment (possibly when I'm wasted friday after finals are over) I will be looking into the darker side of the Tich crew. Stay tuned.

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152 comments

sctrbrn May 13, 2009 at 3:34 am unhide comment

-38 votes

Yiska May 13, 2009 at 3:45 am

+24 votes

Are you ******* kidding me? That was pure ******* gold. *******.

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