**** this, I'm defecting

Let me just start off by saying that Ming’s morals sink lower than whale ****.  I’m sick of whoring myself out for page views and I’m sick of pretending not to see what’s really going on behind-the-scenes at the WoM.  I can only turn a blind eye to this bull**** for so long.  It’s really starting to take a toll on my conscience.  And besides, I want to break into mainstream-professional-e-sports-journalism some day.  I really need to flush out my resume.

 

Now, look, I know that this is big, hard, throbbing news - I couldn’t ask you guys to swallow it all without some help.  So I’m going to help explain the thought process behind my defection to the World of Zack in the only way I know how: 

 

An interview. 

 

With myself. 

 

Jasi: So, Zilea's cat is out of the bag (LOL!).  Why are you doing it?

 

Jasi: Well, it all started a long time ago.  I was an aspiring writer; he was a ***** with a website and some extra cash.  Now, in my experience, this type of scenario usually involves me taking my clothes off.  That’s not what Ming wanted, though.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, he ****** me alright. He ****** me good and hard.  But I think the dick was metaphorical. 

 

Anyways, I don’t think even I know the full extent of the Hokage’s “Operation”.  He’s got friends in high places, man.  Haven’t you ever noticed that Ming can take anyone - a nobody – and make him a star?  He knows the guys who run ****, man.

 

Jasi:  Interesting.  So, you released a Shadow Priest PvP video lately.  Good stuff.  You got an opening comment?

 

Jasi: WTF?

 

Jasi: ****, old habits.  Sorry, bro.

 

Jasi: No problem, bro, but try to focus: we’ve got to get this story out.  Ok, so, anyway – Ming needs to get the inside scoop, right?  He’s got to be the first to post the “dirty laundries”, that’s his thing.  So he starts blackmailing people.  He gets ahold of Zilea’s cat, Mittens.  For every piece of Avant Garde drama that Zilea doesn’t leak to him, Ming gets Mittens, a camcorder, a cute little kitty nurses outfit...and well, I think you see where I’m going with this.

 

Jasi: Disgusting!

Jasi:  You’re telling me.  But see, now Zilea’s got to do what Ming asks, or Mittens is in trouble.  You feel me?  He’s got all these contacts all over the WoW world, and – ****.

****.

 

He is coming.

 

I must rapid.

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